


Just the Price I Pay

by Mother_Mercury



Series: Just the Price I pay [1]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lap Dances, M/M, NSFW, Oral Sex, Queen - Freeform, Rimming, Slow Burn, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, handjobs, roger is a stripper, roger wears panties at one point, things are gonna get sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-01-06 04:36:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_Mercury/pseuds/Mother_Mercury
Summary: It was where he worked that he hated. He quickly learned that the good money didn’t come from the honest and regulated strip clubs. The ones where if you touched a stripper a bouncer threw you to the curb. So he found a club in a London, one disguised as a Furniture store. It was for the upscale businessmen in London, they charged a hefty fee at the door and a lap dance was triple what you’d pay at a regular club. Dancer’s would get naked for the right price. So that’s what he hated; getting naked, wanking some bloke off, letting every inch of his body be touched all so he could pay for his degree.orRoger is a stripper at a sleazy upscale strip club just trying to pay for his degree and is quite taken with his TA Brian May. He knows he's fallen hard and it didn't help when Brian walks into the strip club.





	1. Mr. G's Warehouse

**Author's Note:**

> @mother-mercury44 Find me on Tumblr ❤

Roger

Roger woke up the same way he woke up these days; on John’s worn out couch, being greeted by John holding a cup of coffee. Milk, no sugar. Just the way Roger didn’t take his coffee. But he wasn’t about to tell John that.

John plopped down next Roger, handing him the lukewarm coffee.

“Thanks Deaky, what time is it?” Roger said sipping the coffee. Burning his tongue and throat, he never could be bothered to wait.

John rolled his eyes at Roger.

“Just after 9.” John said giving Roger a sympathetic look. “You know Rog, you can sleep in the bed with me. Or the nook. Th couch isn’t comfortable.”

Roger’s been sleeping on his couch for almost three weeks. Him and his back were painfully aware it wasn’t a comfortable couch.

The rent for his flat went up and he couldn’t afford it. John told him he could move in, rent free but Roger declined. Holding onto the small amount of pride he had left. That didn’t stop Roger from moving in his belongings, taking over the hall closet and the nook. (The nook was a space for a dining room table but John put a futon and bedside locker, for guests.) If Roger slept in there he would feel obligated to pay rent and John would refuse to take it. So, couch.

“Got in at 4:30 am, really want me to wake you?” Roger explained, avoiding the nook.

John nodded his head to the nook.

“I’m not mooching off you, Deak’s. I’ll have my own place soon.” Roger said rolling his eyes. “I gotta get ready, thanks for the coffee.”

John sprawled out on the couch after Roger got up to get ready, letting out an over dramatic sigh. Roger downed his coffee, showered and changed into some clothes. He’s positive most of them belong to John, it was hard to tell at this point who they belong to. He blew a kiss to John, grabbed his backpack and left for his only lecture for today; Chemistry. A three hour lecture at 10 am. Running on maybe four hours of sleep, this was his nightmare.

Class had started by the time he got there, not that it mattered. The Teacher’s Assistant never took attendance. Roger likes him for a few reasons, but that was his third favorite thing about the TA. His second being he was a tough grader, but Roger still managed nearly perfect scores on everything. And the first being he was incredibly attractive. Brian May has long legs, curly brown hair, and is so soft spoken. Roger usually spends class day dreaming about the TA. That usually made the three hours, go by rather quickly. Him day dreaming about running his hands through those bouncy curls. His soft lips going on about chemical reactions. The way he could stride across the room in two steps. Roger was quite taken by Mr. Brian May.

“That’s it for today, you can all go.” Brian said not looking up from his paper. “Your papers are on the table, please come grab yours. Grades could be better. Let’s not turn in rubbish next time.”

Roger was pulled back down to Earth and laughed to himself at his comment. Brian never held back. Roger got up to grab his paper as he left, a perfect score again. He loved reading the comments Brian would make, also praising Roger and giving him positive feedback. Roger secretly hoped he would receive a bad mark so he had a reason to talk to Brian.

Instead, he gathered himself and made his way to the library to drink too much coffee and finish his coursework.

His schedule was the same most days, class, homework, then work. There was usually one or to days when he had nothing to do but rest and work on coursework. He lived off coffee and cigarettes. It wasn’t ideal but it worked.

He sat there in the library trying to muster through as much work as he could. Tuesdays he started at 6, so he only had a few hours left. He finally left, going home to shower to prepare the night ahead of him.

He always took an extra long shower before work, cleaning every part of him. He tossed his work clothes in a backpack and headed to work at Mr. G’s Warehouse. Roger wasn’t embarrassed he was a stripper, it was good money. And he needed it, classes weren’t cheap.

It was where he worked that he hated. He quickly learned that the good money didn’t come from the honest and regulated strip clubs. The ones where if you touched a stripper a bouncer threw you to the curb. So he found a club in a London, one disguised as a Furniture store. It was for the upscale businessmen in London, they charged a hefty fee at the door and a lap dance was triple what you’d pay at a regular club. Dancer’s would get naked for the right price. So that’s what he hated; getting naked, wanking some bloke off, letting every inch of his body be touched all so he could pay for his degree.

He felt like he was using these men. He felt sad for them. Roger would listen, bat his eyes, pretend every word that came out of their mouth was interesting. Only to take the money and do it all again for the next bloke.

He changed into his stage wear, tight white spandex shorts, a gold sleeveless vest with long fringe, and his pink glitter converse. He oiled his body up, adding the slightest amount of glitter. He smudged up some eyeliner, making his baby blue eyes appear even bigger. If that was possible. The final touch was him tying up his hair and placing the jet black wig on his head. He stood back to admire himself in the mirror.

_A bloody twink_, he thought to himself. He barely recognized himself, which was the plan. He didn’t want to risk being spotted by someone he knew, not that anyone he knew could afford the cover fee.

He took his free shot, cracked his neck, and walked out.

Tuesdays are always a busy night, so the place was packed. Roger sauntered around swaying his hips, playing nice with the men in suits. He gave a few lap dances, giving it his all as the men should bills down his spandex. He had one bloke pay for a private room, which was just Roger wanking some balding man off as he complained about his wife at home. The man over tipped and Roger was on his way to find another one.

Roger stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a familiar head of curls attached to a lanky body. FUCK.

**Brian**

“Come on Brian, let’s hit the pubs!” Freddie shouted at Brian.

“I’m not going pub stalking with you just so you can find that bloke you saw two months. It’s weird Fred.” Brian said rolling his eyes as he finished his drink.

“Oh cos hitting every strip club in England is normal.” Freddie snapped back. “You know they don’t care about you, they just want you money.”

Brian eyes shot up from his glass meeting Freddie’s gaze

“Sorry” They both mumbled to each other.

The two had been friends for a while now, they knew how to push each others buttons. And they did it often. Freddie wanted to find the bloke he saw at the pub, he’s been trying and had no such luck. The guy with long brown hair and the sweetest smile. Freddie had the image of the gap between his teeth burned into brain. Brian was at his side for the last two months helping him look. Cos that’s what friends do. Brian just wanted to do anything to blow off the steam from his life, which meant going to a strip club. He hated that this was his stress relief.

“This weekend let’s go out, promise!” Brian said with a sweet smile.

“I’m holding it to you!”

Brain held up his pinky to insinuate that he really meant it. Freddie gave him a toothy smile, before blowing him a kiss.

“I’m not trying to help this weird addiction but there’s a place called Mr. G’s Warehouse. I got a card from some twink at school.” Freddie said. “Lock the door behind you, on your way out.” Freddie slamming the door behind him.

Brian had his own flat in the heart of the city, but he stayed with Fred most of the time. Closer to work and the biggest reason being he didn’t like to be alone.

He finished his drink and hailed a taxi to bring him to Mr. G’s Warehouse. Brian walked in after paying the most he paid for club and was taken back. The place was the nicest he’s been to and the dancers were beautiful. Brian could feel himself getting hard just from looking. He adjusted himself and walked over to table.

He order himself a drink, trying to relax. Strip clubs were his favorite place to be and he was still so tense. He thought about the papers he had to grade, he thought his own coursework that was piling up. The students who thought they were smarter than him. He had about four students who were actually smart. They made his life easier. He thought about leaving and just as he was about to go home when he locked eyes with a beautiful dancer. He used to his fingers to gesture the dancer over.

“You know, Love. This is supposed to be a happy place. What’s got you so down?” The dancer asked him placing a hand on his shoulder.

Brian loved how soft his voice was, how thin he was with a bit a muscle, his black hair made his eyes pop. Brian knew he wasn’t going home now.

“Name’s Brian. Was thinking about leaving, but now I’m thinking about a dance from you beautiful.” Brian said slipping a few big bills in his shorts. “Got a name?”

“Rainbow.” The dancer grinned and he started his move.

**Roger**

Roger couldn’t tell if Brian recognized him and was playing dumb or if he really didn’t recognized him. Either way, he needed the money.

Roger turned his back to Brian and swayed his hips the beat. Moving his hands up and down his sides before dropping them down to his thigh. Bending over just enough to shake his arse at Brian. Brian let out a growl, Roger knew he was feeling aroused already. He stayed like that for a bit before turning to face Brian. He pulled apart Brian’s legs, dropping down between them, his hands running up and down Brian’s body.

“What’s on your mind?” Roger asked him.

Plopping down to straddle Brian’s lap. He was trying now to make direct eye contact but it was hard. He’s fantasized about him and finally Roger was in his lap. But he was in his lap as Rainbow, a stripper. And not Roger Taylor, Biology Major.

“Busy week, I’m a TA and getting my PhD. So I’m drowning in my own coursework and have to teach and grade a bunch of incompetent students.” Brian said, his voice was shaky.

“Mhm a Doctor, that’s hot” Roger said like it was the first time he heard that. He knew what Brian was doing. But Rainbow didn’t He used that moment to grind down a little too hard. Feeling just how hard Brian was.

“It’s exhausting.” Brian threw his head back as Roger nibbled his ear.

“Let me help you relax, Doctors need to be taken care of too!” Roger exclaimed.

Roger ran his hands through his curls and started to grind his arse down onto Brian’s hard on. Roger had never been one to get turned on giving a dance, but bloody hell was he hard. He tried to stop the moans coming from his own mouth. Thankfully Brian was moaning loud enough to drown out Roger’s.

“Don’t be quite love, wanna hear you sing. Look so pretty on my lap. A pretty little rainbow.” Brian said pulling Roger’s hair.

“Dance is nearly over, wanna go to a private room. Maybe talk some more, maybe I can find another way to help you relax?” Roger said scooting back just enough to palm Brian’s cock.

Brian nodded and stood up eagerly, holding Roger in his arms. Roger couldn’t help but let half whimper, half moan. He’s never been so turned on. He walked them back to a private room and laid Roger down on the couch. He slipped more than enough into Roger’s spandex, his hand lingering over his clothed cock.

Roger leaned back on his elbows. “What would you like me to do?” He said sticking his tongue out through his teeth.

Brian looked at him like he was meal. He joined him on the couch. “What can you do?” Brian asked timidly.

“I don’t uh- I don’t sleep with clients. But how about I suck you off and you tell me all about those dumb wankers. Make you feel good.” Roger said sliding off the couch and falling between Brian’s legs. He never gave a customer a blowjob but he would let Brian fuck him into next year.

He looked up to Brian, unbuckling his trousers and pulling them down along with his pants. Roger stroked his cock a few times, licking a stripe up from the base. Brian stroked the side of his face and Roger started taking him in his mouth. He let out a few loud moans as Roger hallowed his cheeks, taking him all the way down. He nose resting against Brian’s dark pubic hair.

“Fuck Rainbow, my cock feels so good. So nice in your warm and wet mouth.” Brian started as Roger worked his way up down his length. “If those wankers could write a paper half as well as you suck my cock, I wouldn’t be so fucking stressed.”

Brian continued to babble on about his students and Roger sucked like his life depended on it, massaging his balls with his free hand. Brian’s word were getting lost on Roger’s mind, his only focus was that his dick was in his mouth, it was no longer a day dream. It wasn’t until Brian mentioned Roger’s paper he could finally hear again.

“This one bloke, Roger is probably the only smart one in the class.” Brian said wiping the few tears coming out of Roger’s eyes. “He’s so smart and witty in his papers. Such a cheeky bloke. Only paper worth grading.”

Roger picked up the pace, something about Brian praising Roger while rainbow sucked his cock made Roger crazy. He popped off Brian’s cock, getting a whimper from Brian.

“Mhm, why don’t you tell me more about this bloke?” Roger asked palming his own erection.

Brian braced his hands on the back of Roger’s head and began to thrust in faster. He talked about every paper he wrote, every assignment he turns in written with pink glitter pen. Roger had tears streaming out of his eyes and he couldn’t stop moaning around Brian’s cock. He never got off on being used like this, but fuck. He needed this.

“Gonna come rainbow. Where do you want me to come?” Brian asked almost sweetly.

Roger braced his hands on Brian, giving him the okay to come in his mouth. Brian came a few seconds later, cock buried in Roger’s throat. Coming long hot spurts down his throat. He thrusted a few more times before pulling out. Roger let himself be pulled into Brian’s lap. He swallowed all of Brian’s come and stuck his tongue out to prove to the him it was all gone.

“Fuck that’s hot. Let me wank you off, make you feel good now.” Brian said pulling down Roger’s shorts. Money falling out onto the couch.

He wanked him off for no more than a minute before Roger was spilling into Brian’s hand, throwing his head back and as he came. Brian put his come covered hand up to his lips, eating Roger’s come until his hand was clean.

Roger rested his head on Brian’s should as they both caught their breath.

“Never done that before back here.” Roger admitted, tucking himself back into his pants.

“Glad I was your first, Rainbow.” Brian said wiping the few tears off Roger’s face.

Roger stood up collecting the money that had fallen out while Brian watched him. He made a show of bending over in front of Brian, shaking his arse just a bit too much. Brian pulled him over and stuck a few more bills into his spandex and patting his bum softly.

“You don’t have to do that.” Roger said looking at the ground. He felt like he was using Brian. Just like he used every other bloke.

“You deserve it.” Brian said standing up. “I’ll be seeing you again.” He finished before walking out of the room

Roger made his way back out the club, Brian no where to be seen. Roger was torn between being upset that he was gone and being a little to happy that he was gone. That meant no one else was touching Brian. That made Roger smile.

He gave a few more lads lap dances, one more private show, and finished with a dance on stage. He cleaned himself up backstage, gathered his money, and started to head to John’s. No public transport ran at 4 am so Roger walked home every night. He usually spent it worrying about how he was gonna pay for classes or finding a flat. But not tonight. Tonight he thought about Brian and smiled the whole way home.


	2. Choking on your alibi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is in over his head trying to balance both his lives while falling in love with Brian. Fred and Deaky need to meet already. Brian is not as smart as he thinks he's is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @mother-mercury44 Find me on Tumblr ❤

**Brian**

Brian rolls over in Freddie’s bed, greeted by a terribly hungover Fred sitting up and chugging water. Brian couldn’t help but chuckle at the familiar sight.

“You know you have your own flat.” Freddie said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t appreciate you using me to sleep here then laughing at me.”

Brian knew that Fred was taking the piss out on him. Freddie drank more these days. He would go out with the intentions of having a few beers, pub hop to try to find this mystery man, and when that didn’t happen he got piss drunk.

He’s never seen Freddie so invested in a person. Before Freddie would shag whoever and wherever, now Freddie has his mind set on the green eyed cutie. He left the hook up scene to find him and Brian couldn’t help but smile at his friend. He’s never seen the older man so in love. Even if he didn’t know him.

“Took it you didn’t find the love of your life last night?” Brian asked sitting up to grab Freddie’s glass of water.

“Not even close. Nobody seems to know him. Starting to think he’s a ghost.”

“Saturday we’ll go out, hit the gay pubs. If he’s not there, you gotta give up. He might not even be gay.” Brian explained kind enough to not hurt Freddie’s feelings.

Freddie nodded in agreement.

“How was Mr. G’s? Got your fill?” Freddie cheekily asked.

“Fantastic but expensive.” Brian said getting out of bed to get head back to his won flat. “I’ll see you soon Fred, thanks for letting me crash.”

“See you tonight, darling.” Freddie said blowing a kiss.

Brian didn’t want to go into the indecent details of how a stripper named Rainbow sucked him off and then how he wanked Rainbow off all while he complained about his life. He didn’t need Freddie to think any less of him, he already hated how he went to these clubs. So he’ll keep those details to himself.

Brian isn’t stupid, he knew Rainbow was doing his job. No he wasn’t in love with him. But he couldn’t help but think he got on pretty well with him, or maybe he just need fresh ears to talk to him. He knew he would definitely be paying another visit to rainbow soon, probably tonight.

Going home to his own flat was always something he dreaded. It was empty and cold, metaphorically speaking. His flat was filled with expensive furniture from his parents and actually had fantastic heat. But it felt empty and cold. He made a mental note to tell Freddie they should host a party soon. He did his usual morning routine; his own course work, and graded the rest of the papers that have been on his counter for a few days.

He usually sped through them, most of them receiving poor marks. He didn’t give them the time of day. He always looked forward to grading Roger’s papers. His papers were professional until they weren’t and that’s when Roger let his personality show. He was mouthy, cheeky, and filled with rage. Brian could tell that by just how hard he wrote in his glitter pen. He was nearly ripping through the paper at certain points. But underneath all that, he was smart. Brian wanted so badly to know this bloke. He wanted to see what he looked like, his smile, how he talked. But in lecture with over 100 students, it was hard to find him in the crowd. Maybe it was meant to always be a mystery.

But Brian couldn’t help but wonder if Roger was even gay. Probably not. He wouldn’t see have the chance to see Roger until tomorrow, so he’d just have to wait till then to put a face to the paper.

Brian acted slightly out of desperation and wrote ‘See Me’ on the top of Roger’s paper. He didn’t know what he was gonna make up that was wrong with his paper, but he’d figure it out by tomorrow.

His day flew by and Brian ended up at Mr. G’s warehouse again. Paying the over priced cover charge, paying for an over price whiskey all while he scanned the crowd looking for Rainbow. He was easy spot in the crowd, he was loud and definitely the most attractive dancer here. Brian debated turning around and heading to a different strip club. He didn’t want Rainbow thinking he was stalking him. Before he could make up his mind, he locked eyes with Rainbow. He flashed the dancer a nervous smile before looking away.

Rainbow sauntered over to him, swaying his hips in tune with the beat. He looked just as wonderful as he did last night, Brian found himself getting hard from thinking about Rainbows body touching him. His big blue eyes gazing up at him, his strong legs, his tight arse grinding on his crotch.

“Hi Brian.” Rainbow greeted Brian, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Want a dance?”

Brian eagerly nodded, sitting down on the chair not too far form him. Peeling off his jacket and slipping money into the band of his spandex.

Rainbow smirked at him before starting his dance.

“How was school, Dr?” Rainbow asked him turning his back to Brian. He nearly bent himself in half to grip his ankles, shaking his arse in Brian’s face.

“No class today.” Brian said, his breath already hitching as the blood rushed to his cock. “Also, not a doctor yet.”

Rainbow let out a soft hum and smirked to the him.

Rainbow used that moment to turn around, cup Brian’s face in his hands and settle himself into his lap. Grinding his arse down hard, looking into Brian’s eyes. Brian loved the way Rainbow ran his hands across his chest and up and down his sides. Brian couldn’t help but let out soft moans. He was usually embarrassed with how turned on he got during a lap dance, but Rainbow also let out sweet little genuine moans.

Brian had his hands clenched in fists at his sides to stop himself from touching the beautiful dance in his lap. Even though it was a sleazy club, he knew better than to touch outside a private room.

“So you’re here two nights in a row. Did you come here to sample other dancers?” Rainbow asked him, peppering kisses against Brian’s neck.

“Of course, that’s why you’re in my lap.” Brian snapped back. Rainbow grazed his hands over Brian’s chest, tweaking both his nipple through his shirt. Brian let out a high pitched moan just as the song ended.

“Don’t sass me, Dr.” Rainbow said standing up and raising an eyebrow to Brian.

Brian was torn between shoving more bills down his pans for a private room, but not wanting to seem to eager and getting up to find another dancer to give him a dance. He internally debated what to do all the while another bloke walked about to Rainbow.

“I’d love that tight arse grinding up cock.” The bloke said pinching Rainbows ass.

Rainbow looked at Brian, his eyes look different. He wasn’t wide eyed and cheeky like he usually was. Brian couldn’t read the dancer’s face, but he didn’t want to leave Rainbow with the bloke.

“Sorry, I already paid for the next dance.” Brian explained, trying to sound confident. “Maybe next time.”

“Can’t hog the dancers you wanker.” The bloke said before he turned to Rainbow “Feckin whore.” He finished before turning around to find another dancer.

Rainbow jumped back into Brian’s lap, sensually grinding his arse against him while rubbing his hands through Brian’s curls. Brian grabbed more bills from his wallet before placing them in the band of his shorts.

“Love your curls, Brian.” Rainbow said maintaining eye contact with Brian. “Could play with them all day.”

Brian’s eyes fluttered closed and let a moan escape his mouth. He gripped his own thighs in attempt to stop himself from touching the dancer. It didn’t help much and his knuckles turned white after a few moments.

“You can touch love, only the good ones get to touch.” Rainbow said guiding Brian’s hands to his own hips. “I don’t let the wankers touch.”

Brian immediately gripped Rainbows hips, already knowing he was gonna leave bruises on the pale skin. He knew Rainbow was probably lying, he understands Rainbow’s job. But he might as well play into it. He rubbed circles into Rainbow’s hips, holding him in place.

“Mhm, well that’s good because I wouldn’t want anyone else touching you.” Brian said in a low voice.

Rainbow moaned into Brian’s ear, nibbling on it after. They continued on with flirting and Rainbow got off his lap to dance in front of him. Brian palmed his own erection, missing the weight of Rainbow on his lap. He loved the way Rainbow moved, everything seemed so natural. Like he was actually enjoying putting on this show for Brian.

The song ended and Rainbow looked at Brian, head cocked waiting for him to say something. Brian pulled him close by the band of his spandex, slipping in more bills.

“Another dance?” Rainbow asked, almost sounding disappointed.

“Just an extra tip, you deserve it.” Brian shrugged, running his hands down Rainbows thighs. “But if you want, I’d love to get another private room.”

Brian didn’t want to seem to eager, especially after what happened last time they went into a private room. But when Rainbow firmly grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the private room, he knew he wasn’t the only one waiting to go.

Once Brian was seated with Rainbow standing in front of him, he slipped more bills into his spandex.

“Tell me what you want Doctor.” Rainbow said placing his hands on his hips and sticking his tongue between his teeth.  
Brian patted his lap. “Have seat love.”

Rainbow plopped back into his lap. Brian immediately started to run his hands over very inch of Rainbow’s body. The boy in his lap let out high pitched moans and ground his arse down. Brian couldn’t help but let out a throaty growl as Rainbow arched his back.

“My incompetent students are driving me mad. Bloody wankers can’t grasp a simple concept but act like they are too smart to be there.” Brian said in a low voice, throwing his hand back as Rainbow rubbed up and down his chest. “All but two failed the last exam. Gonna surprise them with a pop quiz on chemical bonding and chemical compounds, since they think they are so damn smart.”

Rainbow flashed a toothy smile at him.

“Very naughty of you Doctor.” Rainbow said palming his own erection.

Brian removed Rainbow’s hand and place his own on the dancer’s erection. Rainbow bucked his hips forward, his body tensing up under Brian’s touch. Brian couldn’t get enough of how the boy reacted to Brian’s hands.

“Not a Doctor yet, what’s with that?” Brian said rubbing Rainbows cock through the spandex.

“Doctors are hot, you make a hot Doctor.” Rainbow snapped back, working to undo Brian’s trousers.

Rainbow hopped off Brian quickly to shed his own spandex and work Brian’s trousers and briefs down to his thighs. He straddled Brian again, taking the curly haired boys cock in his hands and Brian mirrored the action on Rainbow.

They both stroked each other, while bucking into the others hands. The room was filled with moans and the sound of their hands on each other. Brian has never been more turned on from a hand job. Rainbow finished first, shooting come between their two chest. He rested his head on Brian’s shoulder for a second before finishing Brian off with three more strokes. Brain only added to the mess between the two of them.

Hey waited until each of the came down and their breath returned to normal before saying anything to each other.

“We made a mess.” Rainbow said laughing, not moving from Brian’s lap.

Brian looked down and realized he had come over his shirt. He threw his head back and let out a loud FUCK.

“Sorry Doctor. Next time you should take it off.” Rainbow smirked while getting himself off Brian’s lap to put his own spandex back on. Picking up the loose bills. “You know you over pay for dances and the private room, right?”

Brian pulled up his own trousers and briefs, shrugging at Rainbow. He always over tipped strippers, he had the money and they did a good job. Rainbow does an excellent job so he deserves an excellent tip.

Brian put his jacket on over the stained shirt and Rainbow let out a sweet little giggle. Brian flipped him off, jokingly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Doctor?” Rainbow asked in a shy voice, looking down at the ground.

“Of course.”

**Roger**

“Excuse me! You did what? With who?” John shouted at Roger.

Roger was still half asleep as he sat at the table getting reprimanded by John. It was too early, he had too little sleep, and his coffee was not sweet enough for this.

“Rog, I don’t care that you’re a stripper. But you are basically prostituting yourself out to your professor to pay for his class. That has got to be illegal!” John asked, it was somewhere between a joke and a genuine concern for Roger.

“Rainbow is sucking off Brian May, not Roger Taylor.” Roger explained. “And yes I feel terrible for it.”

John hit him over the head with the newspaper before heading out the door for his day. Leaving Roger alone to deal with this situation.

It was true, Roger did feel bad. He felt terrible that he had a crush on Brian and used Rainbow to indulge in it. He felt terrible that he couldn’t pay for classes, so Rainbow danced for Brian and let Brian over tip him. Roger felt like he was living a double life, but as long as Rainbow and Roger remain two separate people no one can get hurt.

Roger tried to think of the lighter side, like he knew about a surprise quiz today because Brian told Rainbow. Brian probably thought Rainbow was a blue eyed floozy who didn’t know shit about anything. There was no way Brian could make the connection between Rainbow and Roger. Soon to be Dr. Brian May was smart, but not that smart.

Roger studied all morning for the surprise quiz, wanting to impress Brian. He walked into class confident, head held high. Until he made eye contact with Brian. _Shit he knows_, was Roger’s first thought. He put his head down and sat in the back of the lecture hall. Roger thought he could do this no problem. He kept fidgeting in his seat, panicking that Brian knew and was gonna hold him back after class, tell the head master, get Roger kicked out of school.

Roger couldn’t get kicked out of Uni, he worked too damn hard. His thought was disrupted by Brian speaking.

“Take out a paper, surprise quiz!” Brian said, a little too cocky.

Roger was ready. He answered every question with ease. Going over board on explaining, just to prove he knew his shit.

“Once you’re finished, turn in the quiz and grab your paper. Disappointed again.” Brian said returning to his work.

The students shuffled out of their seats one by one, Roger was nearly the last one out. Making sure his answers were all correct, nothing less than 100%. He picked up his paper, ready to read to praise from Brian. His faced dropped when he saw ‘See Me’ in red at the top. He turned around to face Brian, rage filling his whole body.

“Excuse me! This see me better be you wanted to see me cos my paper is just that fantastic.” Roger said slamming his paper down in front of Brian. “I’m here to see you, explain!”

Brian’s eye went wide and Roger felt a little embarrassed. Brian didn’t look at Roger the way he looked at Rainbow. Roger felt his heart sink at that thought.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to blow up.” Roger said as apologetically as he could.

“Uhm-” Brian hesitated. “Few things, you have to stop with the glitter pen. Not my rule, the University’s rule. I personally find it charming.”

Roger’s heart rate picked up. Brian seemed less confident than he did at the club. Roger wanted to know more about Brian, he was an unusual fella.

“When writing informative papers, you can’t add in your opinion.” Brian said with a chuckle.

“But my opinion is right.” Roger explained. “Am I right or am I wrong?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders the same way he did last night. “Your opinion is correct, but you don’t have to be so forceful. You don’t have to shove it down my throat.” Brian said circling Roger’s opinions on his paper.

Roger laughed internally at that. Two days ago Brian was shoving something down Rainbow’s throat. Ironic.

“Noted, Doctor!” Roger said saluting Brian.

Brian looked at Roger as if he had just told him that he was actually Rainbow from Mr. G’s. Which is basically what Roger almost did. Roger immediately changed the subject. Brian blinked his eyes rapidly

“Can you grade my quiz, right now? Took us all by surprised.” Roger said nonchalantly

Brian nodded and quickly graded his paper before handing it back to him. Brian stared at Roger intensely.

Perfect score as always. Well he probably wouldn’t have done so well if Rainbow wasn’t informed about the surprise quiz. Roger knew he was on thin ice with this double life he was living. He gave a quick thanks and bolted out of Brian’s class.

*

  
“He fucking knows Deaky” Roger said with a mouthful of food. “I’m screwed. I can’t dance for him anymore. He’s probably gonna rip off my wig.”

John had cooked them both an early dinner, Roger usually declined the free food but he was hungry and John is a damn good cook.

“Rog, you’re so bloody book smart but love you are not smart enough to pull this off.” John jokingly laughed at Roger’s misery. “The worst that can happen is he finds out and gets mad at you. And destroys the chance of you two falling in love. You can always quit and come work with me at school.”

“Wow Deaky, you are so helpful. Thank you you really for you kind words. And if you forgot I’m a biology student not an engineering student.” Roger scoffed as he shoveled more food into his mouth.

He knew Deaky could find him something, but he wouldn’t make nearly as much as he does stripping. Roger was already two years behind in school due to lack of funds. He just wanted to be finished. John shot him an apologetic look and Roger blew him a kiss.

“It’s gonna be fine, Rog. Just keep the two separate. Make Roger Taylor so lovable and irresistible that Brian has to stop seeing Rainbow.” John offered as advice.  
Roger knew he was right but he also saw how Brian was today in front him as Roger. Brian didn’t give him a second glance, he barely looked at him. Not the way he looked at Rainbow. Roger was started to confuse himself in his own thoughts. He turned his attention back to John.

“So, you happen to find Freddie last night?” Roger asked.

Freddie was some bloke John had bumped into a while ago. He only knew his name because he heard someone call him from across the bar. Which caused him to turn the opposite way, bumping into John briefly. He flashed him a big toothy smile and John was in love. John was taken back by how charming this stranger was. He wanted to meet him properly. So, he’s been trying to create an accidental meeting. Which wasn’t working.

“No, starting to give up. If I don’t find him by Saturday, I’m giving up. Speaking of Saturday, please come out. Roggie, please.” John gave him sad eyes, he knew those always worked on Roger. “it’s been so long. Take a night off from robbing the upscale businessmen and come hang out with me.”

Roger was aware it’s been a while since he’s properly hung out with John. He deserves a night off from grinding on old men.

“Eh why not!” Roger said standing up to clear his plate. “I gotta start getting ready.”

“Make sure you get nice and clean for Brian!” John shouted right before Roger closed the door.

Roger slid down the door, falling to the ground. He knows he’s in over his head. He knows he’s fucked. He knows Rainbow is fucked. But he also knows that he is 100% falling in love with Brian May. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander as he scrubbed himself clean for night. Wondering how it might feel to have Brian touching Roger, not Rainbow. But for now he’ll take Brian touching Rainbow.


	3. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger sounds crazy, Brian is dumb.  
Next chapter will have ever thing falling into place. Sorry, I'm in school to be a dental hygienist and it has been taking over my life. I have super fun,sad and sexy plans for this. ;)
> 
> come find me on tumblr mother-mercury44

**Brian**

Brian spent the next two days at the club, but it was different these two times. He’d walk in, take a seat, and wait for Rainbow to mosey on over to him. Rainbow give him a mind blowing lap dance but when Brian would ask for a private room, Rainbow told him he was getting in trouble for playing favorites with customers. 

Brian understood, sorta. 

It is Rainbows job to dance for everyone, not just him. It isn’t that Brian was falling in love with Rainbow, he just likes to bitch to him and then help each other get off. Rainbow is paid to listen and Brian desperately needed to bitch to someone about his personal life that isn’t Freddie. 

On Thursday, Brian overpaid Rainbow for two lap dances, thanked him, and left the club. It was an odd feeling. He felt like some pervy man chasing after a stripper. He prayed he wasn’t making Rainbow uncomfortable. He already felt bad for the way people manhandled the smaller boy. The way they groped him like they owned him. Making crude comments about his smaller figure or taking about him like he was a piece of meat. This happened all before paying for a dance, Brian didn’t want to imagine how they behaved in a private room.

Just because Rainbow is a stripper these men think they can treat him with no respect. It made Brian’s heart hurt. It also made him think if he is one of these men. He quickly shook that thought away as he remembered the way Rainbow moaned in his lap and the way he took the control from Brian. Rainbow didn’t look at Brian the way he looked at the other men in the club. He isn’t like the others.

He isn’t some straight wanker in his 50’s leaving his wife and kids at home to get a lap dance from a male stripper. He is an openly gay man (well as open as a gay man can be in 1973). He is getting his PhD. He is single. He has no reason to explain why he likes going to strip clubs other than he likes going. He is doing nothing wrong, he respected the dancers and always tipped. He is aware someone people would think he was some pervy man with how often he hit up strip clubs, but the truth is that Brian’s shy. 

He’s aware he lacks confidence to hit up blokes at the pubs. It was easier to go to clubs and chat up dancers. He knew he wouldn’t get shut down and they have to pretend every word he said was interesting. It was nice to feel confident one once. 

For fucks sake he had to make up some policy about no glitter pen to just to find out who Roger is. It was worth it to put a face to the paper and what a damn beautiful face it is. Roger had more rage and cheek in person than he did on paper and Brian couldn’t form a proper sentence. Who flirts by telling someone it’s charming when they use glitter pen? He isn’t smooth at all. But something about Roger felt familiar, he felt comfortable. Even with Roger shouting at him about his paper. He knew it had to be from all the time he spent thinking about Roger would sound like and how he would look. He built up a fantasy in his head about Roger and was not let down when he met him. Not even a little.

But Roger is a distant thought. It’s hard to tell if Roger is even gay. Yeah the glitter pen, tight shirts, and dirty glitter converse makes him believe Roger might prefer blokes. 

He wants advice on how to handle he situation without fucking it up like he always does. He usually turns to Freddie for this sorta thing but he’s been too busy searching the green eyed man. He decided he’d ask Rainbow tomorrow.

On Friday, Brian went out with Freddie for a few drinks before they parted. Freddie went to his favorite pub while Brian made his way to Mr. G’s. Brian showed up later and drunker than he usually showed up. 

Better late than naked or what ever they say, Brian thought to himself. He laughed to himself and let out a hiccup as he took a seat inside the club.

A few dancers approached him, but he declined. He felt a bit silly declining but he needed to talk to Rainbow. He ordered a whiskey and water, trying to balance everything out. He scanned the room a few times before he saw Rainbow emerge from the backstage and saunter on out to the crowd. Sober Brian would have sat down and picked at the skin around his nails and wait for Rainbow to approach him. 

But not tonight. 

Brian sprang up and nearly ran over to Rainbow. Brian had a look of determination on his face as he leaned close into Rainbows ear. 

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Brian smirked. 

He could feel Rainbow tense up a bit and he backed off.

“Are you okay?” Brian asked, sobering up to realize he frightened Rainbow.

“I thought you were gonna yell or hit me. You look like you mean business.” Rainbow said almost inaudible. “I was on break having a smoke. Are you mad?”

Brian shook his head, shoved some bills in his spandex, and pulled Rainbow to a private room. He shut the door behind them and turned to face the dancer. 

“I need to talk to you.” Brian started.

“I can explain, before you say anything Brian. I-” Rainbow stammered.

Brian let out a chuckle and walked over to Rainbow.

“You’re allowed to have a smoke break, I don’t care. I mean cigarettes are terrible for you, so I’d rather no one smoke. But I’m not here to stop you.” Brian said with a smile. “I uh, I need to talk to you about this guy I fancy. If that’s alright with you.”

Rainbow nodded, letting his gaze fall to the fall. 

Brian sat down on the couch and patted the space next to him. When Rainbow didn’t move, Brian beckoned him to come sit down by him.

“So what’s going on?” Rainbow said giving him a cheerful smile. 

“There’s this guy, I know. Well kinda. I don’t chat blokes up ever. I’m too damn shy to and let’s be honest, I’m not the best looking guy and I got this lanky body.” Brian said rolling his eyes at himself.

Rainbow let out a cute giggle, running his hand up Brian’s arm. Brian tensed up, he felt dumb confiding in a stripper. He knew that Rainbow probably agreed with him.

“Is there a question or something?” Rainbow asked in a low voice. “Because I happen to think you are incredibly handsome. And tall, legs for day. A very well endowed cock. And a doctor? You are a prize and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Brian smiled hesitantly, not fulling believing Rainbow. He paid Rainbow to say these things, but still it helped. Brian needed a confident boost if he was gonna chat up Roger one of these days. Rainbow continued to give Brian compliments and advice. Brian wasn’t fully listening as his mind drifted to ways he could run into Roger outside of school. He felt bad for not really listening to Rainbow, he felt even more terrible when he interrupted the boy completely.

“There’s a gay pub, Back Chat. It’s fairly new, maybe I’ll run into him tomorrow.” Brian explained, his face falling flat when he realized he interrupted Rainbow. “Sorry for interrupting you, I uh- I just got an idea and had to get it out.”

“It’s no problem, Brian. Maybe you’ll get lucky.” Roger said giving him a sweet toothy smile. “Times nearly up, would you like a dance. You paid for a room.”

Brian stood up and put a few more bills in Rainbow’s pants. “No, I’m good for tonight. You helped me a lot.” Brian said before turning out of the room.

*

Brian went to Freddie’s flat instead of his own, he felt confident enough to talk to Freddie about Roger tonight. Tell him about his plan to hit up Back Chat to see if Roger was there. He felt slightly hypocritical about how he was about to start stalking the pubs to find Roger after he called Fred a stalker for trying to find that mystery boy. But if anyone would understand, it would be Freddie.

He busted through the front door of the flat to find Freddie of the floor with a phone book in his lap. They looked eyes and Freddie gave Brian a childlike smile and had a twinkle in his eye.

“His name is John! Brian I found out his name from some bloke who kinda knows him. Green eyes, gap in his front teeth, that cute little tush. I just don’t have a last name.” Freddie spat out so fast, stumbling on his own words.

Brian couldn’t help but sit down next to him with a smile. “Happy for you, but John is a common name. Not gonna be easy.” Brian explained trying not to sound doubtful.

Freddie canceled out the John’s he knew and started putting stars next to the one he wanted to call in the morning. He tried to call them tonight but Brian had informed him no one wants their phone ringing at 2 am. Freddie huffed, puffed, and pouted his lips at Brian.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Freddie asked resting his head on Brian’s shoulder.

Brian explained how he developed a crush on Roger just through his papers, made up this person in his head, and when he was greeted by a rage filled Roger, he was a goner. He didn’t stand a chance of not falling for him. Brian went on to ask him if they could hit up Back Chat tomorrow to see if they can find the boys the were both after.

Freddie eagerly nodded, Brian was never one to mention going to a gay pub. Freddie had to usually drag him out. And there was a chance John might be there, so of course Freddie was excited to go out.

“I’m not even sure if he’s gay, I’m probably in over my head. Cos even if he is gay, there is a very large chance he doesn’t fancy me back.” Brian explained, rubbing his face.

Freddie let out a loud roar and was nearly toppling over Brian.

“Roger Taylor? The bloke with the glitter converse and rainbow suspenders? Brian, love. That man is gayer than me.” Freddie said once he caught his breath. “He dated Tim like three years back, briefly but they dated.”

Brian felt a bit more at ease being assured that Roger is in fact gay. That doesn’t mean Roger fancies him. He didn’t show any emotion besides rage and was a bit cocky that day after class. So Brian was working with nothing, he had to just go for it. A hail Mary at the buzzer pass. This was out of Brian’s comfort zone, very much out of it. He felt less scared knowing he had Fred by his side, but he knew Fred was on the hunt for John. He was secretly hoping he’d chat up Roger before Freddie had the chance to find John. He knew it was selfish but Freddie could fend for himself better than Brian could.

“Alright, but if he shuts me down, you owe me.” Brian said standing up, reaching out a hand to Freddie. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

*  
**Roger**

Roger usually entered John’s flat at quiet as he could. But not tonight. Tonight he barged in, kicked his shoes off, and sprinted to Deaky’s room. He was fast asleep considering it was nearly 4 am. Roger jumped on the bed, straddling Deaky. He felt terrible, he knew he smelt like liquor, sweat, and probably has the scent of random of old men on him. But he was too excited to care.

“Deaky, wake up.” Roger said shaking his shoulders.

Deaky’s eyes shot open, he immediately pushed Roger off off him. “Fuck off Rog, get under the covers or go on the couch I’m exhausted.” 

Roger knew he was only half serious, he had every right to be pissed. But in this moment Roger couldn’t care less. He rolled over next to John, pressing his nose against the younger boys. 

“I think Brian likes me. Me not Rainbow. Well I know Rainbow is me but I think he like me. Brian talked me Rainbow about some bloke he fancies and I think that’s me.” Roger explained, nearly out of breath. 

“You sound insane you, you must be aware. You have this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on and I don’t know how much longer I can support this.” John said with a cheeky grin. 

Roger knew Deaky was rational but he also knew that Deaky loved him enough to humor him. He playfully swatted Deaky, ignoring how right he was about the double personality/double life he was currently living. He told Deaky all about Brian’s conversation with Rainbow, there was a twinkle in his eyes and Roger could hear his voice getting higher every time he said Brain’s name. 

“He’s going to Back Chat tomorrow, he said he is hoping to run into me. Is it wrong of me to go there to create an accidental bump in?” Roger said, trying not to sound so desperate. 

“No, let’s go. That way you can meet him and stop this nonsense. Now go shower and come back to bed. You stink.” Deaky said rolling over. “No couch tonight.”

Roger kissed the back of Deaky’s head before pulling himself to the bathroom. He took a look at himself in the mirror and shivered at his reflection. His make up was smudged, his hair was covered in sweat from being in the wig all night, and   
he had oil and body glitter everywhere. He couldn’t wait for the day he finished his degree and he could have a normal job. It’s not that he was ashamed or thought less of himself, it just wasn’t his life goal to grind on men for tips.

He couldn’t hold down a relationship while working as a stripper. When he told his ex, Tim, he was a stripper, he gave him an ultimatum; quit stripping or he’d break up with him. Roger liked Tim, but he wanted his degree more. And Tim wasn’t fronting any money for his classes, so they broke up. Roger understood no one wanted to date a stripper.

_Shit, Brian._ Roger thought to himself.

If this were to work out Roger couldn’t tell him he was stripper. Let alone come clean about about him being Rainbow. He stood in the shower trying to relax and think how to handle this in a reasonable way. He realized he was getting ahead of himself, there is always the chance that they might not work out. Roger didn’t like the thought of not being with Brian, but he knew it was a possibility. He barely knew him outside of class and outside of the club. Roger didn’t care, he couldn’t wait to learn everything about this curly haired man.

After that, Roger thought how he would tell him he’s a stripper. He didn’t want Brian to judge him. He didn’t want Brian to judge him, Brian was a smart, beautiful, soon to be Doctor. But Brian was also someone who went to strip clubs and accepted a blowjob from Rainbow. So Brian was is no position to judge him. Calm down, Roger thought to himself. He was putting opinions in Brian’s mouth and was already getting defensive. 

Roger did what Roger did best, he put that problems away and decided that this was an issue for future Roger to deal with. It was out of his control. 

He finished his shower and climbed into bed with Deaky, snuggling up right behind him. He knew Deaky had to be asleep cos awake Deaky would never let Roger cling to him like koala. He buried his face in Deaky’s long hair and dreamed about the day he’d get to nuzzle into Brian’s brown bouncy curls.

*

Roger slept in, taking over the entire bed once Deaky got up to start his day. He never slept in these days due to the couch being as comfortable as a bed of nails and Deaky usually waking him up once he made breakfast. Not that Roger was complaining because Deaky was letting him crash here for free. But it was nice to wake up in a bed for once. Roger missed having his own bed.

He let his mind wander back to the days of having his own flat, his own bed, and waiting tables at the restaurant he used to work at. He worked hard to get where he was a few months ago. He was raised by his aunt who didn’t have her own kids and didn’t want Roger. She wasn’t terrible, she just lacked compassion and had better things to do then look after him. He left at 17 and never looked back. 

He worked two jobs to pay for school and he bounced around from friends couches to wherever else he could sleep. It was ideal but he made it work and he did it himself. He held his head high. He eventually found a flat he could afford and started working at a restaurant. He made enough and only had to work one job. Everything went well for a while, that is until the restaurant closed with no notice and Roger found himself unemployed. A regular customer told he could get him another serving job, he never told him it was a serving job at a strip club. But Roger took the job because classes weren’t cheap and his rent had to get paid.

So he started serving tables there and moved up to being a stripper. It was good money. So what if he had to grind up on old men and have them grope his private bits. Being class derogatory names and being treated like an object for others pleasure wasn’t his cup of tea. But it wasn’t his forever job. He ended up at Mr. G’s a few years after he got into the scene, classes went up and so did his rent. He asked other dancers where he could make more money and that was where they pointed him. He couldn’t make his rent and classes so now he’s a homeless stripper. Well Deaky won’t let him call himself homeless. But he pretty much is. 

With his life falling apart the past few months, he found happiness in Brian. Both as his TA and his customer. As his TA, Brian was witty and tough. He made Roger fall in love Chemistry. He gave Roger the praise he needed to keep going. He wanted to know Brian they way Rainbow knows Brian. He rolled over in the bed and screamed into the pillow.

Deaky came into the room holding two mugs. Coughing loud enough to get Rogers attention.

“Coffee for Rog?” Deaky asked.  
Roger nodded, getting off the bed to meet Deaky and follow him into the kitchen. He took of sip of his coffee, cream no sugar. One of these days he’s gonna tell Deaky he likes sugar in his tea and coffee. Roger glanced at the clock, it was already 4 in the afternoon.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Roger pouted. “You know I hate sleeping in.”

“Roggie, you are half awake these days. You need to rest properly. Stop burning the candle at both ends before you burn yourself.” Deaky said not looking up from the paper.

Roger knew he was right. He wasn’t in the mood to argue over it. He sipped his coffee in silence, thinking about tonight.

“So what are you wearing tonight? Are you dressing as Roger in tight jeans and dirty glitter converse? Or as Rainbow in those tight spandex and the clean glitter converse?” Deaky said, laughing at Roger’s expense.

“Fuck off. Can I borrow something? I have nothing nice.” Roger asked, batting his eyes.

Deaky let out a loud belly laugh.

“You know you’ve been exclusively wearing my clothes for the past month without asking right? Where whatever Rog, I’m here to help.” Deaky said reaching out to hold Roger’s hand. 

-  
Roger walked into the club, following Deaky straight to the bar. He hadn’t been out in a while and he was starting to feel nervous. The music was loud, it was crowded, and he could vomit thinking about talking to Brian. He kept scanning the crowd, looking for that mop of curls. He saw Deaky scanning the crowd for Freddie. Neither of them talking to each other, just looking for their respective men. 

“I’m gonna hit the loo, and take a lap to see if I can find either of them.” Deaky said after a few minutes of them both standing there. 

Roger smiled and went back to sipping his vodka cranberry, looking at the sea of men. He watched Deaky dart to the bathroom, turning his head in every direction. He felt silly, he felt like a stalker. He was about to go follow Deaky to tell him he wanted to leave when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

“Hey, Roger!” Brian said raising his glass to clink it with Rogers.

Roger could feel his heart pounding and hear his blood rushing. He tried to stay calm and play it cool. But he found himself staring, mouth open and head slightly tilted as he tried to think of any two words in English. He couldn’t get over how hot he look. Tight pants and a light purple shirt, unbuttoned at the top. Exposing his chest every so slightly. His hair looked curlier and Roger wanted to jump into his arms.

“I’m Brian, your TA for Chem. Sorry, I thought you remembered me.” Brian explained, looking embarrassed. 

“I know it’s you. You just look different than you do in class.” Roger said trying to collect himself. “You look good. Though I’m not sure if I’m allowed to give you my opinion. Wouldn’t want you to write me up.” 

Roger could feel himself gaining more confidence and it was nice to see Brian smiling with his cheeks flushed. He was wondering if it was too much for Roger to say. But Brian’s smiled let him know it wasn’t too far.

“No, your opinion is okay here, hell I encourage it.” Brian shouted over the music, leaning close into Roger’s ear.

Roger smiled at him and he leaned into the touch Brian’s arm ever so slightly. They stood their talking about class and Roger’s papers. It slowly moved into their respective nights. After a few minutes of getting to know each other, Roger was getting the courage to actually flirt, maybe even make a move. He was just about to lean in when Brian started to speak.

“I’m here with my mate, uh-. I don’t know if you’d like to join us.” Brian said, glancing back in the general direction behind him.

Roger felt his heart fall out of his ass and wanted to disappear into the floor. So Brian was here with someone else, Roger was okay with that. Maybe he wasn’t, but he wasn’t about to stand here and watch Brian flirt with some other bloke.

“Oh don’t worry, mate. Didn’t mean to interrupt!” Roger said downing his drink. “Was just about to find Deaky and head home. See you Tuesday, don’t be too harsh grading my most recent paper, Doctor.”

Roger turned around and started out the door before he got a response. He had his eyes peeled open, refusing to blink in case he started sobbing. He felt terrible about leaving Deaky at the bar. He didn’t know why he was so upset and heart broken over it. It was too early to head back to Deaky’s flat, so he went to the club. 

Giving a lap dance and being groped by some man in his 50’s seemed better than crying over the fact that Brian May didn’t fancy him. 


	4. And I've been doing just fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred & Deaky finally meet. Brian stops being so dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really fucking love dialogue. So deal with it.
> 
> Find me on tumblr Mother-Mercury44

**John **

John checked back to Roger to make sure he was okay before going into the loo to take a leak. He splashed some water on his face, checked out his arse in the mirror, and took in a deep breath. 

I have to find him, John thought to himself.

He gave himself a quick pep talking before strolling back out to the club. He did a quick scan of he crowd, trying to find the man with shoulder length black hair, big brown eyes, and that smile. That god damn smile John cannot stop thinking about. It’s becoming slightly pathetic, he closes his eyes and see’s him smiling. He didn’t see him, so he scanned again looking for Roger.

He saw him, batting his eyes and leaning in close to a very tall man. John fixed his eyes on the two, making sure Roger was comfortable and not trying to flirt himself away from a wanker. That’s when John realized the stranger had a head of bouncy curls and John realized it was Brian. John felt his heart flutter for Roger.

He didn’t want to impose on the two so he turned around to saunter over to the dance floor. Closing his eyes and getting lost in the music. When the song changed to something he didn’t recognized he opened his eyes and decided he need more liquid courage to make it through the night if he was gonna be a third wheel with Roger and Brian.

The bar was crowded and John tried his best to push his way through. He tried to approach the crowd at a couple different angles and when they all proved fruitless, John let out of a groan and realized it just wasn’t worth it. He was planning on just telling Roger he was calling it a night but someone caught his eye.

That smile, he could see it from outer space. He stared from afar, trying to decide how he should go about this. Should he create an accidental bump in? Should he ask him to dance? Should he just introduce himself as John Deacon? He could feel his body temperature rising. He glanced over to Roger who was still enveloped in conversation with Brian. He looked over at Freddie who was now heading over John’s general direction. 

John decided to meet him half way, that is if Freddie was even coming towards him. The were nearly touching chest to chest, looking intensely into each others eyes. John couldn’t help but smile, the one where you could see all his teeth and his eyes crinkled a bit. He felt a bit childish but he couldn’t care.

“You know John, I’ve been looking for those green eyes and that smile for quite a while now.” Freddie started. “I was beginning to think you were an angel or a figment of my imagination. But here you are darling.”

Freddie pushed a piece of long brown hair behind John’s ear causing John to blush and let out a soft chuckle.

“You know, I’ve been looking for you Freddie.” John explained “John Deacon, pleased to meet you.”

John extended his hand and Freddie kissed his knuckles softly.

“Freddie Mercury.” Freddie introduced himself before crashing his lips into John’s.

Freddie didn’t start slow, he started hot, heavy, and fast. Probing his tongue into John’s mouth, letting his hands trail up and down John’s sides before settling on his arse. John let out a soft moan into Freddie’s mouth. The kiss turned into a passionate make out session in the middle of the club, a little too intimate for being in public. But neither one cared. 

John pulled away first, staring at Freddie’s swollen lips and blown pupils.

“Hi.” John said in a shy voice.

“Hello.” Freddie chuckled. 

Freddie leaned in close to lock hands with John, pulling him in close. They started to chat briefly about themselves and what they have been up to for the past weeks. Both boys shamefully admitted to the stalker tendencies they had to find the other one. John was just glad Freddie wanted him just as bad. They didn’t get to talk for long before they were interrupted by Brian making an appearance.

“Bri, love! Look who I found, he was also looking for me.” Freddie as matter of fact. He playfully stuck his tongue out at Brian. “This is my John.”

“Brian, nice to meet you.” He shook John’s hand a little too tight. “I’m gonna head out, Fred you two enjoy your night.”

John looked around to see where his blond friend was. He figured he was in the loo or smoking outside. John knew how excited Roger was to hang out with Brian, he must’ve convinced him to head out early. He couldn’t help but smirk at the cheeky minx.

“Pleasure to meet you Brian, enjoy your night!” John exclaimed, not that it mattered Brian was half way across the club before he could finish.

John turned his face back to Freddie, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“So your place?” John asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

  
**Brian**

Brian found his way to his favorite local pub. It was rarely busy, the same regular five customers, six if you counted Brian. He like coming here because it was quiet. Plus he didn’t want to go home or back to Fred’s place just yet. The night was still young and he wanted to wallow in self pity and whiskey. 

It was still early where he could go to the club to see if Rainbow was there. He quickly dismissed that idea. He didn’t want to Rainbow to see just how pathetic his night went. He probably already thought Brian was a bit of a loser. He spent his free time and money on lap dances. Now the one bloke he is quite taken with didn’t want him back. 

He chatted with a few of the people, polishing off a few too many and lazily walked back to Fred’s flat. He stumbled through the door, stripping down to his briefs as quietly as he could before collapsing into Freddie’s bed.

He sobered when he heard a scream that was definitely not Freddie’s.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!” Brian said wrestling to get out the bed. “I didn’t expect you guys to bed here.”

Brian watched has John covered himself with the blanket as Freddie sat up chuckling at Brian’s state. He should’ve have known Freddie was bringing him back here, god he was drunk.

“Brian you have your own flat. Please don’t tell me Roger is going to be strolling in anytime soon.” Freddie grinned. “Well as hot at that would be darling, I’m not really interested in sharing John.”

Brian watched Johns cheeks flush and he smiled at Freddie. Brian can now understand why Freddie is obsessed with John. The green eyes, that gap in his teeth, the crinkles by his eyes, and that long brown hair. John is beautiful. Freddie is beautiful. They complimented each other so well.

“Roger kinda blew me off earlier, so no he’s not here.” Brian rubbed his tired eyes.

“Roger blew you off?” John asked. “Doesn’t sound like him.”

“You know Roger?” Freddie and Brian asked in unison, they received a confused nod from John.

“Was he out with someone else or something? We were flirting, I invited him over by me and Fred, and he just bolted out of the bar. Is it cos I’m his TA? Is it the clogs, innit?” Brian rambled, standing up to shake his head of these thoughts.

“I’m not getting in the middle of this cos honestly I have to deal with Roger’s chaotic energy 24/7, but Roger went out tonight looking for you.” John said giving Brian a comforting smile. “And that’s all I am saying, you two lunatics can sort out your own love lives.” 

Brian stopped pacing to give John a smile. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. And sleep at my own flat this week. Give you two newly weds some space.” Brian said blowing them a kiss. 

He shut the door but not without hearing a fuck off Bri from Freddie. Settling himself on the couch, he is too restless to sleep after listening what John said. 

Roger was out looking for him.

He smiled at the thought of that chaotic blond going out looking for him. 

-

The next few days Brian had to settle himself back into his own flat. It’s weird, he felt like a stranger in his own home. It was unfamiliar territory to him. But he is an adult and needed to stay in his own home. Especially after he walked into Fred’s flat Monday morning to John bent over the counter and Fred thrusting into him like there was no tomorrow. He had turned around and left without grabbing his books that were in the living room.

He found himself at Mr. G’s Monday evening. In a private room, paying Rainbow just to chat. Rainbow had tried to convince him that he should at least get a blowjob out of this. Brian declined, he didn’t want to do anything unless that person is Roger. 

So they sat and chatted, Brian complained about school, talked on about his friend who was banging his new boyfriend a dozen times a day. Rainbow laughed at Brian’s frustrations. Brian likes coming here, even if it is just to chat. But he knows if something were to happen between him and Roger he would have to stop coming. He didn’t like the thought of losing Rainbow as a friend, but Roger is worth it. 

“Sorry to unload all this on you, if my mate stopped banging his boyfriend for 10 minutes maybe I could talk to him about all this.” Brian said, throwing his head back on the couch. 

“I’m going through the same stuff. I haven’t seen my flatmate in a few days. So I understand what it’s like to need to unload on someone.” Rainbow said letting out a sigh.

“You can talk to me if you want. It sounds pathetic but after my one mate, your sorta my other best friend.” Brian smiled.

“Maybe next time.” Rainbow smirked. 

They talk a while longer, Brian over tipped, and went back to his empty flat. He couldn’t wait to see Roger in class tomorrow.

Roger didn’t show. He was a little sad to be honest. He was so distracted by his absence he let his class out early.

That night and the following night, Brian was at Mr. G’s. Rainbow gave him a lap dance but told Brian that he needed to make money tonight and couldn’t afford to sit and chat. Brian offered to pay him for the customer he’ll miss being with Brian. He knew it was pathetic but with Freddie fucking John and Roger missing class, Brian didn’t want to be alone. Rainbow accepted his offer and they chatted the night away.

On Thursday, Roger didn’t show up to class. Brian went to Mr. G’s and spent the night with Rainbow. He was starting to feel defeated and was ready to give up hope on the blond boy. He knew he’d see Freddie and John tomorrow, so maybe he could get some answers. Freddie and Brian had planned to throw a party. Freddie told Brian they deserved to let loose but Brian knew he just wanted to show John off. 

Friday morning rolled around and Brian found himself behind on his TA work and his own coursework. He didn’t want to work in his flat so he gathered his work and walked to the campus library. He knew he’d get more done there anyways. 

He scanned the library trying to find an empty table, much to his dismay there were none. He groaned at having to approach someone and ask if he could join them. Brian could feel his heart rate picking up at the thought of that. He started towards the back when he saw Roger sitting alone with a stack of books. 

This is it. Just go for it. Brian thought to himself.

“Hey Rog, mind if I sit?” Brian asked as calmly as he could. He stood there hesitant, not wanting to over whelm the blond boy.

Roger smiled at him and gestured to the empty seat. Brian gracefully put down all his stuff on the table before taking a seat. Brian set out all his work, organizing everything he needed. Trying to disrupt Roger too much, the boy looked tired. He’s wearing an over sized jumper and a pair of tight black trousers. His hair is pulled up in a messy bun and he has glasses on. Brian could not get over how effortlessly beautiful he is.

He knows he’s staring and Roger caught him.

“You okay?” Roger asked. Brian nodded. Roger started to return to his work when Brian started to speak again.

“I’m not sure if I offended you or made you uncomfortable on Saturday. I’m sorry if I did, I hope that has nothing to do with your absence in class this week.” Brian explained with great concern in his voice. “I have the lecture notes from this week if you’d like them.”

“Oh God no! I was having a shit week and just wasn’t in the mood to be out.” Roger explained.

Brian didn’t fully believe him. But he didn’t want to overthink it. John said he liked him, or indirectly said it. Whatever. Brian pulled out the notes and tried to hand them to Roger.

“I uh- I don’t need them. I’ll probably have to drop the class, I can’t afford it this semester.” Roger said with a sigh. “Being a Bio major is great until I realized the science classes are triple in price.”

Brian’s heart sunk, he didn’t know how it felt to struggle ton pay for Uni. So he felt terrible.

“Take em anyways and keep coming to class. I’ll still let you come and turn in work. You’ll figure something out.” Brian said trying to console Roger who looked miserable. “I can loan you the money.”

Brian felt a little crazy and knew he was being forward, but he didn’t care about that. He cared about Roger.

“I’ll keep coming and do the work, but you are not paying for my classes. You already helped me.” Roger snorted. “You know, like teaching me.”

Brian handed him the notes and gave him a mini lecture. Roger caught on to everything the first time around. Not that he was surprised, Roger is bloody smart. He made a mental note to keep checking to see if or when Roger’s name is dropped from the roster. Cos if that happened he would just go in and pay it anonymously. No harm there.

They kept chatting about anything that came up. Talking to Roger felt so natural, like he’s done it a dozen times before. Roger laughed at some space joke Brian cracked, Brian could listen to Roger laugh all day long.

Brian wasn’t sure how much time had passed but they had to be there long enough for Brian’s stomach to start growling. 

“Would you like to join me for tea and biscuits?” Brian asked.

“Bri, I just told you I cannot afford to pay for my classes. What makes you think I can afford to go out for tea?” Roger playfully asked.

Brian felt like shit after that.

“My flats not too far from here, I’ll put the kettle on for us. A nice little break from our study date.” Brian smiled, hoping he wasn’t coming off as creepy.

Roger stood up and started to collect his things. “Lead the way.” He said in a sing song voice.

-  
The walk to Brian’s wasn’t far but it felt long due to the rain pouring down. Typical London. They walked into the lobby of Brian’s building, taking the elevator nearly all the way up, and finally entering his flat.

Both boys laughed as they realized every article of clothing was soaked as well as their books.

He kicked off his shoes and socks, tossing them to the side. He watched as Roger kick off a pair of old and ratty converse, he had no socks on. Brian noticed Roger tried not to make eye contact over it.

He gestured Roger to follow him to the bedroom so they could change.

“The floor is getting soaked.” Roger stated. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Brian smiled. “These should fit you. The briefs are new, I promise.”

Brian handed him an old Uni t shirt, a pair of joggers, briefs, and socks. He grabbed clothes for himself and left Roger alone to change as he went to the bathroom to change. He couldn’t help but feel giddy about Roger being over and putting on his clothes. Once he was changed, he went to the kitchen to wait for Roger. It was only a few minutes but Brian could have sworn it was hours.

Brian was searching all the cupboards for his kettle, he felt ridiculous not knowing where it went. Roger spoke and it startled him enough to bash his head while it was inside the cupboard.

“Shit, scared the hell out of me.” Brian said rubbing the back of his head. He looked at Roger in his clothes. The pants were too long but they still seemed made for him.

“Sorry! Thanks for the clothes. What the hell are you doing in there?” Roger asked taking a seat at the counter.

Brian stood up trying to collect himself. “I cannot find where Fred put my damn kettle. Sorry, he’s always rearranging shit.” Brian said, trying to keep his tone calm. He really wanted to kill Fred for always touching things. 

He watched Rogers face become tense, not picking up on his mood. He busied himself in finding the kettle. It was buried behind extra dishes he never unpacked.

“Is he that bloke you were with Saturday?” Roger quietly asked.

Brian filled the kettle before placing it on the stove. He finally put the pieces together. Roger though he was there with Freddie. Roger must be confused. Brian couldn’t help but laugh at the confusion.

“Oh god no, I love Fred. But we’d probably murder each other if we went out. No Fred was there with John. Your flatmate and my best mate are dating. Well I think they are just fucking at this point, but they’ll get to dating soon.” Brian explained, trying to read Roger’s expression.

Roger’s confused faced turned to a smirk and he raised an eyebrow at Brian. “Well now I feel dumb. I didn’t put it together that Fred and Freddie were the same person. Deaky only called him Freddie.” Roger said joining Brian in laughing.

Brian and Roger talked about how Fred and Deaky didn’t even know each other and they were pining after one another. Brian noticed how Roger relaxed after the air was cleared. Brian sat the tea pot and tea cups in front of them.

“Milk and sugar?” Brian asked making his own.

Brian passed the milk and sugar bowl to Roger, watching the blond boy put two big spoon fulls into his tea. Roger looked up and him with a smile plastered across his face. 

“I like my coffee and tea sweet. Deaky doesn’t know that so when he makes mine, he doesn’t put sugar in it. I don’t even think he owns sugar. I haven’t had a decent cuppa in months.” Roger said taking a big gulp of tea.

“Just tell him, it’s just sugar.” Brian explained. He brought over biscuits for them to share. “How long have you lived with him?”

Something in Rogers eyes told Brian it was a sore subject. He was just about to change the subject but Roger started telling him about how his rent went up and he had to move out. Deaky took him in a few months ago. He explained how he says he doesn’t live with Deaky, he just crashes there. Even going into detail over the nook and him refusing to sleep in there. Brian noticed Roger holding his head high with his current situation. He was trying his hardest to show he had no shame. Brian admired that.

“It’s okay to ask for help. We all need help.” Brian explained grabbing Roger’s hand. “You can pick up extra shifts. Where do you work? I could try to get you a tutoring gig at Uni.”

“Do you just go around being everyone’s night in shining armor?” Roger asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t really need anymore help. I’ll figure it out.”

Brian rolled his eyes and playfully swatted Roger. He realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with this conversation. The blond boy was just too stubborn. Brian didn’t mind it though. In fact, he loved the fire that was inside Roger. Made him different from everyone else. 

“But from the looks of this flat, I could tell you have cash to order us some Chinese food. So how about I let you do that so you can stop worrying about me.” Roger offered.

“Deal.” 

Brian ordered Chinese food and they moved to the couch to watch some crappy telly and over eat. Brian was amazed how much the boy ate. Roger stole food off his plate, giving Brian a smirk. Brian couldn’t help but smile. He couldn't help but smile as Roger placed his empty plate on the coffee table and stretched out on the couch. Brian gathered the small amount of courage he had and sat next to Roger, wrapping his arm around the boy, and pulling him in close. He kept his gaze on the telly. Occasionally looking at Roger, who was also stealing glances up at him.

“I like you, Roger.” Brian said softly.

Roger sat up and turned to face Brian. Brian could feel his heart racing as the blond boy looked at him. Brian couldn't read Roger’s expression and that made him nervous.

“I like you, Brian.” Roger said back, giving Brian a toothy smile. “I want to kiss you.”

That was all Brian needed to hear. He used both his hands to cup Rogers face and smash his lips into Roger’s. Their teeth clanked and noses bumped causing both boys to laugh. They dove right back into kissing. Roger settled his hands around Brian’s neck and Brian moved his hands down Roger’s body to finally settle down on his waist. Roger let Brian’s tongue into his mouth, leaving Brian a bit shocked he gave up dominance so fast.

Brian shifted Roger over onto his lap, only breaking away from the kiss for a moment so they could get readjusted. Brian smirked before diving back into the kiss, letting his hands travel all over Roger’s body. He settled with his hands on Roger’s ass, squeezing probably a little too hard. But Roger didn’t mind, he moaned into Brian’s mouth.

Roger broke the kiss to lift Brian’s shirt off, then his own.

“Fuck, your beautiful.” Roger said. He start kissing down Brian’s jaw and then sucking bruises onto his neck. “Been wanting to get your shirt off for weeks.”

Brian couldn’t help but let out soft moans, bucking his hips up. Letting his erection press against the boy in his lap. He just about to reach down Rogers shorts to pull his dick out when his front door swung open.

“Brimi! John and I are ready to- Oh fuck! Sorry!” Freddie said dropping the bags from his arms and covering his eyes. “I didn’t see anything.” 

Freddie led John into the kitchen and Brian threw his head back against the couch. Roger leaned forward burring his head in Brian’s neck. Brian loved it.

“Sorry, Fred and I don’t really understand knocking or personal space.” Brian said laughing. “I forgot we are having a party tonight. Stay?”

Roger lift his head, still sitting in his lap he let out a sigh. 

“I work tonight.” Roger said.

Brian let out a groan and leaned forward to kiss Roger. Then kissed him again. 

“Shame, would have loved to finish what we started.” Brian said standing them both up. “Where do you work?”

“Over night security.” Roger said. “Boring gig but it pays the bills. Sorta.”

Brian adjusted the semi he was sporting, trying his best to conceal it until he could take care of it himself. He was disappointed Roger couldn’t stay, but he didn’t want to pressure the boy into staying if he needed to the hours. He picked his shirt off the floor, putting it back on. He grabbed his shirt that Roger is borrowing and turned to give it to the blond. Roger’s back was facing him and he let out a not to quiet ‘Oh’ when he noticed the scar on Roger’s back.

“Some wankers beat me up when I was 15. Caught me kissing a lad I fancied.” Roger shrugged like it was no big deal. “It used to be a lot worse.”

Brian handed the boy his shirt and tried to control his face. He didn’t want to pity him but he couldn’t help it. Roger is a beautiful spark despite life constantly knocking him down. Brian wanted to hug him and hold him for the rest of his life.

Brian was trying to think of something to say his thoughts were pushed aside when Freddie and John joined them.

“Oh thank God, you are both decent.” Freddie joked. “Though I’m glad you were in Brian’s lap finally. Maybe now he’ll shut up about you.”

Brian blushed and Roger shot him a sweet smile.

“I heard you two are certified stalkers, so do we really want to be making jokes cos I’ll go there.” Roger said playfully pushing Fred.

“Oh, I like you. Please tell me you’re staying for the party.” Freddie begged.

Roger shook his head no and let out a sigh. 

Roger said his goodbyes and made plans with Brian to see him tomorrow for a late lunch, After Roger slept for a bit. Brian insisted, a little too forcefully. He kissed him a few too many times before letting the blond boy out the door. He turned to face Fred and John who had huge grins plastered across their faces.

“Not a word.” Brian demanded before going to his room to have a proper wank. Definitely thinking about Roger in his lap.

Brian made a mental note to stop by to see Rainbow. He has to give him an update and tell him he probably won’t be seeing him anymore. He’s sad to lose Rainbow but so excited to gain Roger.


	5. Destiny is Calling me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger is reaching a breaking point and Brian is sweet like he's some kinda cheese.

**Roger**

Roger couldn’t hold his excitement in. Not on the tube back to Deaky’s. Not while getting ready for his shift. Not even while he was dancing for these men. He is high on this feeling of Brian liking him. He spent this whole semester being a little too in love with his TA. He spent the past week only being with Brian when he was Rainbow. But now, he has Brian. He has these butterflies in his stomach and for the first time in a long time, he can see the light at the end of this crap tunnel he’s been in.

It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning on Deaky’s couch, wearing Brian’s shirt from yesterday that it hit him. If he wants this to work, he’s either gonna have to tell him he’s a stripper or just quit all together. The latter wasn’t really an option, not with him needing to pay for his classes. And with Brian spending more time with him, he was bound to figure it out that he is Rainbow. But if Brian kept going to the club did that mean he isn’t serious about Roger? Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Brian didn’t show up last night, but he was hosting a party. So Roger didn’t know what to think. He could feel his brain overheating and decided to put that away for future Roger. Cos all he could think about right now is having lunch with Brian in a few hours.

He debated giving Brian his clothes back, but then decided he is gonna keep them for himself.

-

Roger walked into the restaurant that Brian had picked and scanned the room trying to find him. Roger was about 10 minutes late and was nervous the curly haired man left. He could feel himself starting to worry, that is until he saw him sitting in a corner booth. Roger walked over embarrassingly fast, not wanting to be away from him for another minute. 

Apparently Brian had the same thought as he shot up from the booth and opened his arms for the him. Roger hugged him a little too tight and definitely did not take in a deep breath to inhale Brian’s scent. Defiantly not.

“Sorry I’m late. Feckin tub was stuck on the tracks.” Roger said sitting down across from Brian.

Brian gave him an understanding smile and handed him a menu. It wasn’t expensive, but Roger couldn’t afford it. Not that it’s a problem, he knew Brian was paying. But he felt like a wanker, taking his money in the club and letting him pay here. Roger had to keep shoving those intrusive thoughts back down.   
They made brief small talk. Roger made up some lies about his fake job working security. While Brian told him all about the party. Roger was upset he missed it and even more upset he missed Deaky teaching Freddie how to dance. Sometimes he hated working nights. He wanted Brian to talk about what he did last night. Hoping to see if he had a good time without him. 

“Sounds like you had a good time.” Roger said smiling at the boy.

“It was fun, Freddie always throws great parties. I got to hang out with john for a bit, he’s a riot. But I uh- I really wish you could have stayed.” Brian said, his cheeks a little flushed with embarrassment.

Roger _beamed_ at Brian missing him.

They sat together eating and talking about everything under the sun. Roger told him about his studies, his favorite foods and movies, and how many fights he’s been in. Brian talked to him about how school is going, his parents that he barely talks to, and his friendship with Fred. Roger loved getting to know him better, he loves that he knows him better than Rainbow does. 

They made plans for nearly every day this week, working around classes and Roger’s over night schedule. He felt a bit guilty lying to Brian but a white lie never hurt anybody. Brian invited Roger to his flat to keep hanging out and Roger accepted the invite without a moment of hesitation.

The moment they walked in the door, Brian pressed him up against the door. Colliding his lips with the other boys. Hands roaming up and down each others body. Small moans escaped Roger’s mouth as Brian pressed his leg between the blond boys.

“Want you.” Roger moaned into Brian’s ear.

Brian stopped what he was doing to lock eyes with him. Before giving him a nod, picking him up, and carrying him to the bedroom. Roger couldn't help but think about the time at the club when Brian carried Rainbow to the private room. Roger mentally slapped himself, reminding himself that he had to keep them separate, church and state. This wasn’t Brian from the club, it was Brian his maybe soon to be boyfriend if things worked out.

Brian playfully dropped him in the middle of the bed, hovering over him. Roger pulled him down to attack his lips. Brian ran a hand through his hair, grabbing fistful of blond locks. Roger let out a high pitched whine and Brian smirked back. Roger locked his legs around Brian’s waist to pull him close so their clothed erections could rub up against each other.

“Fuck” Brian moaned, grinding harder and creating a nice rhythm.   
Roger’s eyes rolled to back of his head feeling Brian’s cock against him. They kept at is for a minute until Roger was pushing Brian to sit up. He started to undress himself as Brian followed. Roger wanted so badly to take Brian’s clothes off himself but he also wanted them to be naked as soon as possible. He couldn’t wait to see Brian naked, he just knew he is gonna look amazing.

Roger was not disappointed as he stood there drinking in the sight on him naked. It was only a moment before he launched himself at Brian, sucking bruises into the older mans neck while taking his cock in his hands. He loves how Brian bucks into his hand, letting out moans that sounded more like growls.

“Bri, please.” Roger moaned. “Want you to fuck me.”  
  
Brian let a moan, kissing Roger one time before getting up. Roger watched him fumble in the bedside locker for a condom and lube. Roger laid back, resting on his elbows as he watched the older man get flustered after he tried a couple different places. Roger tried to not smile at his irritation. There is something about him naked and his erection bopping around that Roger loved.

“Bloody hell. I’m gonna kill Fred.” Brian said joining Roger on the bed. “I haven’t got a condom or lube.”

Roger raised an eyebrow and smirked at the older boy. He pulled Brian in closer, running his hands through his hair before greedily kissing him. Roger didn’t care about the lack of a condom. He cared more about the lack of lube. Brian isn’t packing lightly and Roger didn’t want to play around.

“Let me blow you.” Brian said kissing his way down Roger’s body.

Roger nodded and grabbed handful of Brian’s hair. Brian sucked bruised down his chest while stroking Roger’s cock. Roger knows he’s loud in bed, people have told him to ‘tone it down’ more often than not. But the louder Roger got, the hard and more aggressive Brian got. Roger could get used to this.

Brian made his way to Rogers cock, licking a stripe up before swallowing down and hallowing his cheeks. Brian wasn’t screwing around and Roger was glad. He knew he wasn’t gonna last. He pulled Brian’s hair a bit too harsh and start to slowing thrust up into his mouth. 

“Fuck, Bri. So fucking good.” Roger breathlessly said. “Not gonna last long.”

Brian hummed around his cock before going back to work. Roger leaned up on his elbows to get a better view. Brian knows what he’s doing as Roger couldn't help but watch the curls bounce around as Brian moved up and down. The room was filled Roger’s high moans and Brian’s muffled moans. The obscene slurping sounds and the sight on Brian jerking his own cock sent Roger over the edge.  
“FUCK.” Roger hissed before spilling into Brian’s mouth.

He wanted to lay back but decided against as he got to watch Brian bring himself to his own orgasm. Brian let a string of moans before spilling into his own hand. Roger couldn’t help but moan with the boy. Brian grabbed a shirt to wipe his hand off before collapsing next to Roger. 

Both of them breathing heavily as they came down from their orgasms. Brian pulled Roger in close to him, kissing the top of his head. Roger couldn’t help but snuggle into Brian’s chest.

“You know, I’d apologize for not having lube or a condom. But that was fucking amazing. Was it good for you?” Brian quietly asked him.

“Pretty sure you sucked my brain out, Bri.” Roger said laughing.

Roger traced patterns on Brian’s chest, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He was wondering how to come clean about Rainbow but more importantly he wanted to know what they were doing. He didn’t know if Brian want to just sleep together or if he wanted to be something more. Roger felt childish for wanting to ask. But he also didn’t want to ruin the moment, he could stay in Brian’s arms for the rest of his life and be content.

“Hey, Rog?”

“Mhm?” Roger responded, not bothering to look up.

“Are we doing this?” Brian started. “Like for real?”

Roger wanted to, he wanted to say so badly. But he also knew he needed a hot minute to figure out work. He needed to switch clubs or get a knew persona, something to get rid of Rainbow so Brian would never know. But on the other hand he didn’t want to risk losing Brian by saying he needed some time.

“I’d like to. But uh- can we take it slow. I wanna do this right Bri, I really fancy you. I have for a while. I remember seeing you the first day as my TA and my first thought was that you walked out of a painting or were sculpted by the Greek Gods.” Roger said sitting up to meet his gaze. “I knew I had to have you.”

“Oh shut up.” Brian said looking away. “I didn’t even know what you looked like and I was falling for you. I loved your papers, so smart and cheeky. Then I met you and it was game over.”

Roger cupped his face and kissed him passionately. Nothing like the past two make out sessions and nothing like he shared with Brian at the club. This was something new and special and Roger wanted to never let this go. 

They hung out the rest of the day, spending a lazy Sunday watching crap TV while eating takeaway. Roger convinced Brian to give him a foot rub at some point. Roger loved how domesticated they became. Like this was something that is meant to be. It didn’t last long, Roger had to leave for work. Even though Brian protested and dragged him back to the couch every time he got up to leave. 

Brian walked Roger to the tube station and dramatically kissed him goodbye. Roger rolled his eyes jokingly at him, but he really loved just how romantic Brian is. He didn’t mind the stares or comments thrown at the two of them. He just cared about being in Brian’s arms. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right? You’ll come over for breakfast before classes?” Brian said with a smile.

“Of course, I’ll be expecting my cuppa waiting for me.” Roger said blowing one last kiss before getting on his way.  
  
-  
Roger fell into a nice routine throughout the week; breakfast with Brian, class with Brian, afternoon steamy make out sessions, him working the night shift at Mr. G’s and passing out in Deaky’s bed since he spent nearly all his time at Fred’s. Roger wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation but he knew he couldn’t outright quit. So he asked to a stage only dancer. Yeah it’s a pay cut, plus a huge loss of tips but Roger knew it’s what he had to do. 

Brian didn’t show up to the club until Tuesday. Roger made brief eye contact with him from the stage but never got off the stage. Brian gestured for him to come closer, hinting at a private room. Roger told him he was on stage duty this week. Brian gave him a sad smile and handed him a few bills before leaving the club. He stood there, shoving the money in his shorts before going back to dancing. He tried hard to slap on a happy face for the customers but he knew it wasn’t convincing.

Roger knows Brian hasn’t done anything sexual in the club since he first started coming. All sexual acts were thrown out the window he started talking to Rainbow about Roger. He knows Brian was going to the club to talk to Rainbow as a friend. There is no harm in that, but he still didn’t want Brian running off to a stripper to talk to him about his problems. 

He was still concerned with Brian coming to the club anyways. It wasn’t his place to ask him cos how would he explain that to him? He came to the decision that he wants Brian to come to him as a Roger and not Rainbow. That meant being the best damn soon to be boyfriend he could be and getting rid of Rainbow’s relationship with Brian.

The next few days Roger spent every moment he was with Brian learning everything about him and Roger in return told Brian everything about him. Minus the whole him being Rainbow thing. Roger never felt this chemistry with anyone before. He loves how open he can be with Brian. The older man never looks at him with pity. But Roger was itching for more. He knew he couldn’t give Brian his all until he cleaned up the mess he created. 

And Brian didn’t help. Not with him showing up to the club, having a seat and drink, watching Roger dance, only to tip him for nothing and leave. Brian wasn’t helping behind closed doors.

“Rog,” Brian moaned while licking Roger’s nipple. “Please, want you so bad.”  
  
Roger wants Brian to fuck him. He wants Brian to slide into him. He wants to bounce on Brian’s cock. But he was holding off until he decided how he was going to handle this, it wasn’t fair to Brian for a couple reasons. The two major ones being Brian is over tipping Rainbow for nothing and Brian’s cock is probably gonna explode if he doesn’t get to fuck Roger soon.

“M’not ready. Told you I wanna do this right.” Roger said pulling him up for a kiss.

Brian smiled and gave him an understanding nod before kissing him back. They settled for some hard core grinding and blowjobs. Not that Roger was complaining, Brian gave good head and at least he got to have Brian’s cock in him one way.

-

Friday rolled around and Roger was starting to hit his breaking point of balancing everything. Brian had to catch up on his own work so Roger made plans to see Deaky. They both got caught up in their owns lives and it’s been nearly a week since they have seen each other.

“You are looking good these days, being shagged properly looks good on you.” Roger said sipping his tea with no sugar.

Deaky blushed and rolled his eyes at the blond boy.

“I wish I could say the same for you but you look wrecked.” Deaky said. “You okay?”

Roger went into full detail of everything that happened in the past week. It felt good to let it all out instead of battling himself in his own head. Deaky has been the voice of reason in his life for a while now. He is a very no nonsense person when it comes to giving advice. Especially when it comes to kicking Roger’s arse in gear. 

“If I’m not working, I’m with Brian. I sleep only 3 hours a night, I’m losing my mind. So damn tired these days, I’m about to crack.” Roger said laying his head on the counter, dramatically hitting his head against it. “Not too mention all the tips I’m missing just so I feel less guilty about the situation at hand.”

“I can loan you-”

“No, not asking for help. Just complaining Deak’s.” Roger said holding his head high. “Just tell me what to do cos I can’t think about it anymore or I swear my brain is gonna catch fire.”

“Even if you change clubs or switch personas, you’re sill gonna feel guilty. Just tell him before he finds out, that way it doesn’t look terrible. Unless your fine dying with this secret. Honestly Rog? You have to do what feels right.” Deaky said, rubbing the top of Rogers back.

Roger let out a loud groan. He knows Deaky is right. He’ll feel guilty until he tells him. But he is also painfully aware of the risk of losing him once he tells him the truth. 

“What if I lose him?” Roger asked, a hint of panic in his voice.

Deaky kiss the top of his head and gave him a reassuring smile. Roger didn’t Deaky to explain himself, he knew what he meant. He knows it’s a risk he is gonna have to take. Roger down his tea and started getting ready for his shift. 

Roger took the stage with a clouded mind and a migraine. He never minded being up on the stage, no one could touch him and he could dance and move how he wanted to. The lack of tips, the thought of losing Brian, and the fact that he’s one bad shift away from having to drop his courses put him in a sour mood. The customers saw it and saw it appropriate to shout at him. 

_“Come on Blondie, give us a real show.”_

_“Bloody twink doin a shit job as always.”_

_“Come grind up on daddy to put a smile on your face.”_

Roger could deal with mean calling him names on the floor but something about being on stage and having things shouted at him made him feel like some kind of animal. He knew it had to be the stress and lack of sleep but Roger could feel tears welling in his eyes. He wasn’t going to be that stripper who cried on stage. He jumped down and started to walk backstage but was interrupted by Brian.

**_Bloody fucking hell,_** Roger thought to himself.

It’s not that he wasn’t happy to see him, seeing Brian at the club always made his nights better. But with the stress of everything going on and the fact that he was on the verge of tears, Roger couldn’t handle it. There was something in Brian’s eyes that he never saw before.

“Shit, Rainbow. Are you okay?” Brian asked, he slipped cash into Roger’s hand. Roger knew he was doing it so he would sit and chat for a moment. “I’ve been trying to talk to you all week. I feel like you're avoiding me. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Roger felt dizzy and wanted to leap into his arms and be carried to bed. He tried to blink away the tears in his eyes while not making eye contact with him. Usually Roger loves having Brian around, a sense of peace in his chaotic life. But right now it has the opposite effect on him.

“No, not avoiding you. Just not feeling well, I’m about to head out.” Roger said lowering his voice, trying to not sound like himself. “Come back tomorrow? We can chat if you’d like.”

“I’d love that, have to catch you up on everything.” Brian said playfully nudging Roger. “I’m not trying to come off as a perv, but would you like ride home? It’s typical London out tonight, pissing down rain.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Rainbow, I just want to help-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Brian! Stop trying to help me, I’m fine!” Roger said storming off backstage, not bothering to look back.

Roger felt like a dick, he knows he had no business blowing up like that. But this might help dissolve Brian and Rainbows friendship. Roger showered at the club and put his civilian clothes back on. He took his time, not wanting to run into Brian on his way out. 

It was only a little after midnight by the time Roger got back to Deaky’s flat. He was looking forward grabbing some crisps and collapsing into Deaky’s bed. He was not expecting to find Deaky and Freddie in the middle of an intense make out session. Deaky hid his face in shame while Freddie made some comment about how this happening far too often. Roger went to make himself some tea while the other two made themselves decent.

“You know, Brian asked if he could stay by my flat tonight with me. Said he didn’t want to be alone since you work. You off early or something? I can send you to my flat so you can have a sleep over with your man and not me.” Freddie said playfully.

“Not feeling well, they sent me home early.” Roger lied, he locked eyes with Deaky.

“I’ll let Brian know you sent him your love.” Freddie said kissing Deaky and walking out the door.

Roger stood in the kitchen, hoping Deaky wouldn’t want to talk. Roger wasn’t in the mood to do anything besides sleeping for the next 14 hours. Deaky pulled him by the hand and dragged him to the room. Roger picked up a shirt that smelt like Brian, changed into it, and jumped into bed. Not letting any thought other than sleeping come across his brain.

** John**

John has never been one to go easy on Roger. He calls him out on his bullshit and never lets him get away with anything because of his past. He knows Roger appreciates that. But sometimes Roger needs someone on his team, someone who won’t give him that pity look and treat Roger like he’s damaged goods.

John left Roger alone in the bed, closing the drapes, and giving him an extra blanket. Anything he could do to make the boy more comfortable. Roger looks half alive these days. A proper rest and a good meal won’t fix his problems, but it’ll help.

John can’t help but feel a little guilty. He’s been so wrapped up in his new relationship with Freddie that he forgot sometimes he has to take care of his feisty friend. He made a mental note to have him take off a shift so they can spend some time together.

John was just about to start prepping food for their lunch when he heard quite a loud knock at the door. Followed by two more loud knocks. Deaky ran over and swung the door open before they could knock again.

“Bloody hell, it’s 10 in the morning. People are sleeping!” John whispered, feeling guilty when he saw Brian standing there with a few bags.

“Sorry, Roger was supposed to meet me for breakfast. I got terribly nervous when he didn’t show and Fred said he was ill last night. Is he okay?” Brian asked, wide eyed. Scanning the flat for Roger.

“He’s sleeping, he needs a good rest.” Deaky said letting out a sigh. “Bags?”

Brian set the bags on the counter, pulling out the few items he brought over: tea, sugar, a t-shirt and joggers, a few snacks, and a couple pastries. Brian went into full explanation of not knowing he was ill and feeling terrible for not being there for him. John couldn't help but smile at the flustered boy. John knew Roger was smitten for him but now seeing how much Brian cares about Roger really put everything into perspective. Now he knew why Roger was so nervous to tell Brian. Brian is one of the good ones, the one you don’t wanna lose. 

“I’m gonna get going, but tell him I stopped by?” Brian said with a small smile. “Also, I’m having people over at my flat tonight. Not sure if Fred told you.”

“Of course, he’ll appreciate it. And yeah, I’ll be there. Roger’s working as you know.”

“I know. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I wish he didn’t work so much. I miss him all the time. I’d love to fall asleep and wake up next to him.” Brian said, his cheeks going bright red. “Sorry that was embarrassing.”

Brian gathered his things before heading towards the door. 

“No, it’s sweet. He’s a great guy, he deserves the world.” John said glancing at the counter. “What’s with the sugar?”

“Roger likes his tea and coffee sweet, he said he didn’t know how to tell you.” Brian said shutting the door behind him.

John couldn’t help but laugh. Roger couldn’t tell him about wanting sugar in his coffee and tea. How did he expect that boy to come clean to Brian about Rainbow.


	6. And it's all in my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian goes back to the club and Roger cried

**Brian**

Brian felt like he was floating all week. He hadn’t felt this way in so long and he knew he was greedy for wanting more. He wants to be with Roger every night and wake up next to him. He wants to have sex with him. Yeah the grinding, hand jobs, and blowjobs were fantastic, but he’s craving more. He wants to be intimate with in that way. Roger said he wants to take it slow, and Brian respects that. He really really does, but he can’t help but wonder how slow they have to take it.

So Brian has been taking it slow with him. Letting Roger make the first move. Letting Roger decide how far they go. As much as it drove Brian mad, he was glad not to be in control of something for once. He loves the fire and spark that Roger brings to his life. As chaotic as the blond boy is, he has a calming presence on Brian’s life. Brian used to crave strip clubs, going to them nearly every night. He used the clubs to fill the void in his life. He always felt like something is missing. And that missing piece is Roger. 

Brian has no desire to get a lap dance or go to a strip club again. But there is a soft part of him wanting to say goodbye and thank Rainbow for everything. He knew it sounded pathetic, but Rainbow helped him a ton.

He tried to talk to Rainbow, but Rainbow seems to be avoiding him. Brian wants to kick himself for being so adamant about talking to him. He knows how creepy it could come off and how a stripper might be worried. But Brian never treated him like a stripper and Rainbow never treated him like a customer.

Rainbow agreed to talk to Brian Saturday and then blew up, leaving Brian feeling terrible. Part of him wants to go and for proper closure and the other part wants to leave this part of his life in the past. He is terrified what Roger would think if he found out the guy he is seeing is one of the those clubs rats.   
  
He wishes he could talk to Fred about it but Fred has never been one to take it slow. He wouldn’t be surprised if John was moved into his flat and rings have been exchanged already. He knew with the party tonight he’ll get the chance to talk to Fred about everything and even ask John how slow he should move with Roger.

-

“You guys haven’t fucked yet?” Deaky giggled, taking another swig from his beer.

“Oh darling, if you need advice I’d be happy to give you some!” Freddie grinned at him, pulling John onto his lap.

Brian immediately regrets opening up to these two. He could feel his face burning up.  
“The first time we went to, I had no lubes or condoms. Thanks to you two wankers using the last and not replacing.” Brian shot them a fake angry look. “So we didn’t have sex. Then after that, he said he wants to take it slow. Does that sound like him or is it something about me?”

“Roger hasn’t been with anyone in three years. Tim broke up with him cos of him working all the time.” John began. “And after that he just focused on school and work. I don’t know what he’s like in a relationship. But he likes you, a lot. He likes that you don’t pity him or make him feel bad for working.”

Brian wished that was true. He hates that Roger works nights and won’t let him help. It drives him mad. But Brian dealt with it, Roger has him wrapped around his finger. 

“Just go fuck him darling, you both want it!” Fred said with a laugh.

“Very romantic.” Brian rolled his eyes.

Brian tried not to feel jealous as John sat his Fred’s laugh. The sly flirting, hand holding, whispering of sweet nothings, and just them being together. Brian wants that with Roger. He’s tired of not being able see him after 6. And seeing a half asleep, fully exhausted Roger in the mornings.

“He’s just got a lot on his plate, give him time.” John reassured Brian. He watched John pull Fred to the make shift dance floor. Fred could pretend all he wants, but Brian knows the older man loves dancing with his boyfriend.

He talked to some of his Uni friends, had a couple more drinks, and found himself back in his room looking at the Polaroids of him and Roger. He knew it was a bit cheesy, but he didn’t care. He wants to convince Roger to let him pay for his classes and move him in. But he doesn’t want Roger thinking he is taking pity on him. That’s the last thing he’s doing. He wants to take care of Roger and make him happy. Just like Roger makes him happy. Roger makes him so fucking happy.

Brian wanted advice. Not ‘go fuck him, darling’ advice. He knew John was too close to Roger to help him. He knows who he wants to talk this through with and that person is Rainbow. Brian slipped out of his flat without anyone noticing and took the tube to Mr. G’s. 

He scanned the crowd looking for Rainbow, panicking over if the dancer wanted to see him or not. When Brian couldn’t find him, he decided to wait it out by the bar. Keep his buzz going while he waits. 15 minutes had gone by and still nothing. Brian was just about to call it quits when he heard an argument picking up to the left of him.

“Come on baby, let’s get a room. Don’t you want daddy’s cock” an older man said to the dancer.   
  
“I said no, I don’t do private rooms anymore. I’m a stage dancer only.” He heard a familiar voice snap back. 

Brian walked towards the argument, his speed picking up when he saw an old man in his 50’s running his hands up and down Rainbow. He felt his stomach twist every time the man groped his crotch or ass and Rainbow flinched. Once he reached them, he a protective hand on Rainbow’s shoulder, earning a thankful glance from the dancer.

“Excuse me lad, but I was just about to buy myself a private room with the twink. You can get him after me.” He smirked at Brian, trying to coax Rainbow into following him.

“No you weren’t.” Rainbow scoffed at him.

Brian pulled out money putting it in the band of Rainbows shorts, he wrapped an arm around Rainbow guiding him away from bloke. They only managed two steps before the bloke grabbed Rainbow buy his vest and yanked him close to him. The vest was ripped from his body and the dancer punched the bloke in the jaw. It was enough commotion to to alert the bouncers, getting the older bloke kicked out. 

Rainbow let out a string of swears while holding his damaged hand. Brian stood in shock at the dancer going from 0 to 100, like he’s never seen him before. Rainbow turned his back to Brian, trying to pick the pieces of his ripped vest off the ground. Brian was still in shock from the whole ordeal he barely registered the scar on Rainbows back. The scar was identical to the one Roger has. Brian blinked a few times before he could say anything. He felt stupid.

“Roger?” Brian asked almost too loud.

The dancer faced him, eyes wide and cheeks red. Brian stood there trying to piece together the events that happened between him and Roger and also him and Rainbow. Brian spent the last week feeling guilty that he’s been trying to say goodbye to Rainbow, when Rainbow is actually Roger. He’s been embarrassed about going to strip clubs when Roger is the stripper he’s been seeing. He felt dumb for not realizing their the same person. 

“Bri, please don’t say anything else out here.” Roger begged. “I’m gonna leave, please meet me out front?”

Part of Brian wants to yell but the other half is almost too confused on where he would even begin. The look of desperation in Roger’s eyes is the reason he nods in agreement to meet the younger boy.

Brian waited outside the club, trying to sober up before he had his discussion with Roger. Brian felt used and like a fool. He wanted just go home and forget this whole mess, but he also felt like he deserved some answers. After what felt like an eternity, Roger walked towards him from around the corner. He looks exhausted and Brian could tell his eyes were puffy from crying.

“Who am I talking to Roger or Rainbow? Just would like to know before the conversation begins.” Brian snapped, he knew it was the liquor that was making him snappy. “So you won’t take my money as your boyfriend, but you’ll take my money when I’m a customer?” Brian asked firmly. “Were you just using me? Do you know how dumb I feel?”

“Bri, please. I didn’t know anything was gonna happen between us. The first night you came in, I thought ‘just a one time thing to help with the crush I have on my TA’. Then you kept coming in and I didn’t know what to do.” Roger said out of breath, he continued when Brian showed no sign of interrupting. “Then everything else happened between us. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I just didn’t want you to think of me as some dirty stripper.”

“How am I supposed to believe you? You’ve been lying to me, Roger.”

“I only lied about where I worked, I never lied about anything else. And who are you to talk? You’ve been pouting about how slow we’ve been moving but you came to the club twice this week!” Roger shouted, ignoring the dirty looks form people passing by.

“I talked to Rainbow as a friend. The sexual stuff happened all before I met you and you know that! I was trying to tell Rainbow ‘thanks for the help, but I have a boyfriend now’ but he’s been avoiding me.” Brian said with irritation in his voice. “I feel like a lunatic talking about you like you’re two different people, bloody hell.”

Brian looked at Roger whose face was soaked with tears. Brian reached down to clear them off, trying not to love how Roger leaned into his touch. He felt terrible for pulling away. 

“Bri, I care about you. I stopped taking customers, I moved to the stage just so I wouldn’t have to give dancers or do private rooms. I did that out of respect for you. I’m losing money but I don’t care. I just want you.” Roger explained. “I didn’t want to lose you as a boyfriend. I didn’t even want to lose you as a customer. I know that’s selfish.”

Brian wants to bring him home and hold him all night. But there’s a part of him still mad at the blond boy. Mad he paid Roger to give him a blow job, he felt as dirty as the other men at the club. Maybe that’s why he’s mad. Brian’s not sure at this point. He just knows he should be mad. 

“You make me feel safe when we’re at your flat or out getting breakfast. I’m convinced your arms are the safest place in the world. Even when you came to the club I felt safe. Knowing I didn’t have to do anything with or for these blokes, cos you looked after me. I know you stopped coming to the club cos of me, but I really wish you were there. This week without you was just utterly horrible. I’m exhausted.” Roger said, his voice going soft.

“I don’t know what you want? Do you want me to be your boyfriend or do you want me to be your customer? Cos I can’t be both.” Brian answered. “I paid you after you gave me a blowjob.” Brian stated. “What does that make me?” 

“I want you to be my boyfriend.” Roger answered, sounding beaten down. 

Roger gave Brian a look of desperation. Brian wasn’t over it but he couldn’t let Roger suffer anymore right now. He pulled Roger into his arms, wrapping them tightly around the shorter boy. Pressing light kisses to the top of his head. He felt Rogers body relax against his and Brian wanted to cry.

“I’m drunk and your exhausted. Let me bring you home and we can talk in the morning.” Brian said, trying to comfort Roger.

The walk to John’s flat was short and once they got inside, Roger jumped in the shower while Brian made a late dinner for the two of them. Brian cooked breakfast for dinner and it was nearly done by the time Roger came out. His hair was still wet and he was in Brian’s t-shirt and a pair of briefs. He could feel his heart racing at the sight of Roger’s bare legs. He wanted to hold him and smoother him in kisses.

Brian placed the food on the table and they ate in silence, Roger looking half asleep while Brian could feel the hangover setting in already. Brian glanced at the clock, it was nearing 3 in the morning. He cleaned up and reached out for Roger’s hand.

“Stay the night?” Roger asked as Brian pulled him up. “Even if your still mad at me in the morning, just tonight. I’ve been dying to sleep in the same bed as you.”

Brian let Roger lead him into the nook, plopping them both down on the futon. Roger kept an uncomfortable distance between them and Brian could hear him sniffling. He pulled the younger boy into his arms, holding him close to him. He rubbed circles into Roger’s hips.

“Rog?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been wanting to sleep next to you too.” Brian explained, kissing Roger’s cheek.

Brian can’t sleep, not with everything going through his mind. He tried not to think too much about the situation he is going to have to deal with in the morning. He only tried to focus on the situation he is in now; Roger peacefully sleeping in his arms now. He’s never seen Roger sleep and he wished the boy looked more peaceful. His brows were furred and his mouth in a frown. 

Brian rubbed his head, pushing back the blond hair behind his ear. He leaned down to kiss the top of his head and slowly moved himself away from Roger and off the bed. 

He wrote a note and left it on the bedside locker for Roger to find in the morning.

_Rog,_

_I didn’t want to leave you but I think we both need a moment after last night. I need a few days to process everything. I wish I could say I’m not properly pissed off but I am. I’m mostly pissed at myself to be honest. Please take care of yourself._

_Bri x_

He felt lonely walking back to his flat. He wished he was a big enough man to swallow his pride and just stayed the night with Roger. It took nearly everything he had not to run back to him and cuddle him through the night. 

Back at his flat, the place was empty besides a drunk Fred and John cleaning up. The place wasn’t too trashed but Brian always appreciated Fred cleaning after the parties.

“Well, well, well! Where have you been Mr. May? I’ve been worried sick.” Fred asked with a wink. 

Brian rolled his eyes and directed his attention to John, who looked like a deer in headlights.

“Did you know?” Brian asked.

John gave him a slight nod and continued throwing out empty beer bottles. Brian gave John a pat on his shoulder before walking to his room and collapsing on the bed. He knows a part of him is overreacting, but he just needs a god damn moment to over react. 

**Roger**

Roger must of read the note a dozen times. He doesn’t need a moment, he needs Brian. He needs Brian here so he can talk it out with him. He shoved his face into the pillow Brian used, inhaling the curly haired boys scent. That intoxicating scent that Roger can get drunk off of.

He thought of how things were going so well with Brian and then suddenly went to shit. He wasn’t surprised if he’s being honest. That seems to be the theme of his life these days; working hard for things to go south without a moments notice. He wasn’t looking for pity, he just wants the universe to know he knew this was gonna happen. 

His brief moment of peace was disturbed by the front door swinging open.

“Rog!” Deaky shouted.   
  
Deaky peaked his head in the nook, giving Roger a sympathetic. Freddie peaked out from behind him, giving him a wide grin while. Roger pulled the covers over his eyes shielding the light coming in from outside and the two boys watching him. He wasn’t ready for the conversation he knows they are going to want to have.

“Come up Rainbow, we haven’t got all day.” Freddie said with a laugh.

“Fred! I told you not to bring it up right away”

Roger groaned, whipping the blanket off and trudging past the boys to the kitchen. He put the kettle on and gathered three tea cups, milk and sugar. He   
smiled knowing that Brian brought the sugar over him. Sweet Brian who was royally pissed at Roger. He poured tea for them all, dumping to teaspoons of sugar in it. He took a sip, placed it down, finally making eye contact with them.

“Brian told you?”

“My John told me on the walk over. Brian doesn’t spill gossip, boring sod.” Freddie said with a smile. “No one cares if you’re a stripper Rog. Brian, loves the clubs” He wiggled his eyebrows, trying to ease the tension.

Roger groaned, slightly banging his head against the counter.

“I was gonna tell him. I wasn’t using him.” Roger explained.

Roger explained what happened at the club, giving more background to Freddie about everything that has been going on. Roger ignored the pounding in his head from lack of sleep and the fact that he cried a shit ton last night. Deaky maintained his neutral face, while Freddie gave over dramatic gasps and wide eyes. Freddie explained to Roger how much Brian truly cares about him, ensuring the blond boy that Brian doesn’t care about the stripping.

“I feel dirty. It’s not like I can just stop, I need to graduate. I have to.” Roger said, sounding exhausted. “Don’t even offer your help or I swear I'll beat you both.”

“Okay, fine!” They said in unison. Roger couldn’t decide if he was annoyed or impressed with how in tuned they are together.

Deaky had left the two of them to go get ready for his day.

“Should I talk to him? Or is he just completely over me?”

“Brian’s a great guy, but he is bit dramatic. He needs his space, he’ll come to you.” Freddie said giving the blond boy a hug. “I once sold a couple of his shirts at my stall, I made good money off them. After a week, he talked to me and I apologized and we were fine.”

Roger has a hard time believing that Brian would get mad over a few shirts. But he remembers a few stories Brian told him about Fred and he knows by a few shirts, Freddie probably sold way more than “a few”. He remembers the way Brian smiles even when he’s talked about all the things Freddie did to piss him off. While Brian was pissed at the older man, he still cares for him. Roger hopes that’s the case for him too.

Roger was pulled from his thoughts by Fred staring at him.

“Roger, are you listening to me? I asked if you would like to work with me at my stall?” Freddie ask. “And before you say anything nor Brian or John asked me to ask you. And I’m not taking pity on you.”

“Why do you want me to work with you?” Roger hesitantly asked.

“I’m dating John, who is your best friend, and I would like to get to know you more. John speaks highly of you. You’re sorta dating Brian and giving him lap dances on the side.” Freddie joked. “If you still want to dance go ahead, this isn’t a rescue attempt. Or start the week fresh with me tomorrow at my stall.”

Roger debated for a moment. He need the money but it wasn’t worth the stress and strain on his personal life. Not working nights and being able to have a normal life sounds great, better than great. Roger heard stories from Brian about his stall, he knew he didn’t make a ton money. He wondered how he would pay for classes. He could just swallow his pride and ask for money from Deaky. He didn’t want to depend on anyone, he wanted to do things his way on his time. But he knows he can’t rebuild his relationship with Brian if he’s always working at the club. Roger took a deep breath, gave Freddie a nod, and stuck his hand to for the dark haired man to shake.

-

Roger spent the day getting his ducks in a row. He stopped at the club to tell him he’s quitting and to pick up his belongings. The club manager tried to convince him to stay by offering him more money, Roger was pressed to say until the manager called him the “prettiest twink” at the club. Roger spat at his shoes and walked out of Mr. G’s. He had a feeling in his gut, he couldn’t quite describe it. It felt like butterflies, he was starting new chapter and he was giddy. But the butterflies turned to nausea when he realized he still has to make amends with Brian.

Back at Deaky’s flat, Roger officially moved into the nook. He organized his clothes, putting his club outfits in a shoe box and shoving it under the bed. He wasn’t quite ready to part and if shit hit the fan he needed a back up plan. It felt nice having his own space, even if it is in Deaky’s flat. As a final touch, he taped a few Polaroids of him and Brian up above his bedside locker. He felt like a weirdo doing it. He wasn’t even sure if they were still together.

The one picture is slightly out of focus and Roger has one eye partially closed. The other one is Brian kissing Roger’s cheek and Roger’s eyes are closed and you can see nearly all his teeth from his wide smile. Roger’s heart fluttered while staring at the photos. Deaky peaked his head around the corner, catching Roger creepily staring at the pictures.

“Nice place you got here.” John said with a shy smile.

-

Roger was nervous. He had four cups of coffee before leaving the flat to meet Fred at the stall. He was nervous starting a new job. He was even more nervous he would be spending the day with Brian’s best mate. He showed up with bags of his and Deaky’s clothes they haven’t worn in ages. He quickly learned how much him and Freddie had in common style wise. They were both outrageous, bold, and did not care what people thought of their outfits. 

He couldn’t help but laugh as Freddie picked up stuff that belong to Deaky while making a gagging noise.

“Oh that boy is perfect in more ways than none, but his style.” Freddie said holding up an ugly jumper. “You couldn't get someones granddad to wear this.” 

Roger laughed hard at Freddie’s comments, it was nice they could both make fun of his wardrobe out of love. 

They day went by smoothly, Freddie showed him the ropes and he caught on rather quickly. Freddie has this charm about him that Roger admires, he can see why Deaky is in love with him. They way he batted his eyes and gave cheeky grins to the customers. Charming his way into getting them to over pay for garbage.

Freddie never brought up Brian once and Roger was torn between being upset and worrisome. Freddie must have read his mind.

“He thinks it great you are working with me. He says now I won’t be so lonely.” Freddie said handing Roger money. “Not what you make in the clubs but it’s something with better hours.”

“Thanks Fred, I can come back here tomorrow after class.” Roger explained walking out and heading home.

Roger counted the bills, it wasn’t much less than he made in the clubs. It’s 6 at night and Roger could anything he wanted. And all he wanted to do is eat dinner, watch a movie, and snuggle up to Brian. 


	7. And Now They're Going to Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger stopped being dumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come find me on tumblr Mother-mercury44 <3

Roger

It’s been nearly a week and Roger still hasn’t spoken to Brian. He completely understands that Brian needs time. He just didn’t know it would be this hard. He wasn’t expecting much from seeing him class, but he wasn’t expecting radio silence.

On Tuesday, Roger kept his head down in class and his usual comments to himself. He occasionally locked eyes with Brian but the older man would look away shortly after. Roger took that as a bad sign.

On Thursday, Roger was handed back his paper with Brian’s usual comments. The one’s praising him and the one’s telling Roger to calm down. He took that as a good sign.

It was hard not to wonder what was going through the other one brain. Roger found himself trying not to think too much into it. It’s hard if he’s being honest. His new schedule allowed him to function like a normal human, leaving way too much time for him to over think and over prepare what he wants to say to Brian when he see’s him next. He came up with this long cathartic speech on understanding and forgiveness. He prepared his arguments and main talking points. He knows he’s doing a bit much, but he wants to be nothing but prepared to win his man back.

While it’s hard not seeing Brian, he’s glad he gets to see Freddie. The two have bonded working at the stall. 

Roger loves working with Freddie. He found out they have many things in common like their taste in music, fashion, and their unconditional love for Deaky. It’s nice spending his days with Freddie and Deaky usually stopped by to bring them lunch or tea. He’s happy for the two of them, that doesn’t mean he’s not jealous. Between the flirting at the stall or them making out on the couch at Deaky’s flat, he’s ready to murder them both. He wishes he had that with Brian.

He thought working with Freddie would help with the situation. He tried to steer the conversation towards Brian but Freddie never budged, no matter how hard Roger tried. Freddie gave him nearly nothing. He says things like ‘Brian’s alive’ or ‘Brian bought new socks’. And Deaky wasn’t much help, he usually said something along the lines of ‘Oi! Just talk to your man and stop bugging me’. 

Roger was getting no where. 

He tried to focus on his new schedule, a schedule he hasn’t had in nearly 5 years. It felt foreign to him to work during the day and be home at reasonable hour. It felt nice, different but nice. He was making less than he made at the club but he could still pay for his classes. He didn’t have enough to spare to give Deaky money for rent, even though Deaky told him 100 times he doesn’t want his money. So Roger treated him to a pint at the pub after work and stocking their fridge with beer. 

Roger felt defeated once Friday rolled around. 

Roger and Freddie were taking the piss out on each other towards the end of the night when Deaky strolled in. Wearing a pair a tight leather trousers, that Freddie made him buy no doubt. And a sheer blouse. Roger knew tonight was a date night for the two love struck birds. 

“Mind if I steal Fred for the night? I was thinking some dancing and too many drinks.” Deaky said pulling Freddie in for a kiss.

Roger wants to strangle the two of them right then and there. That feeling went away when Freddie gave him the sweetest puppy eyes.  
  
“Please, love. If you close tonight, I’ll open tomorrow.” Freddie begged.

Roger had yet to close the stall by himself and was really looking forward to going out as a group. They shouldn’t have to suffer cos Roger’s life is a mess. He gave them a nod and Freddie planted a sloppy kiss to his cheek. The two of them nearly ran out together, giggly like a bunch of school girls.

“Please stay at Fred’s tonight! I’d like some peace and quiet!” Roger shouted to the boys.

Once it’s time to close, Roger tried to move as quickly as he could. He wasn’t sure exactly what to do so he made the best of it. Not wanting to hear Freddie bitching in the morning if it wasn’t done right. He was distracted when he heard a familiar voice.

“Fred?” Brian called out. “I’ve got the money for you.”

Roger turned to face Brian, ready to give his speech. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the stubble across Brian’s usual clean shaven face. 

“Beard?” Roger said with an eyebrow raised.

“It’s just a bit of stubble, Rog.” Brian chuckled. “Haven’t shaved in a few days. Where’s Fred?”   
  
“Sorry you missed him. He left for a date with Deak’s which I’m pretty sure is just code for screwing all night. He also said nothing about you stopping by with money so you’ll just have to sort that out with him.” 

Brian let out sigh, looking around the stall. Watching Roger finish properly closing the stall. Roger knows he’s watching, he could feel the older boys eyes on him. He knows this is his chance.  
  
“So, do you still hate me?” Roger asked, immediately regretting it. 

Cos that is definitely not what he had prepared but that damn beard is screwing him up a lot more than he wants to admit. Brian relaxed his shoulders and sat down on of the stools. He patted the stool next to him and Roger plopped down next to him. Roger noticed the bags under his eyes and his heart sunk just a bit. Brian never had bags under his eyes.

“I could never hate you Rog. And truth be told I don’t even think I was mad at you. I was more pissed at myself for not realizing that my boyfriend was also the stripper I befriended.” Brian said with a sigh. “There’s a lot of questions and things I want to talk about, but I miss you Rog. Like really fucking miss you. And if we’re gonna do this, we have to be honest with each other starting now.”

Roger felt a rush of butterflies in his stomach.

_Brian misses him._

_Brian really fucking misses him._  
  
“I really miss you too. Been harassing Freddie about you.” Roger smirked. “I can do honest, I want to do honest. And if I’m being honest, I really want to fucking kiss you.” 

Roger leaned in, placing a hand to cup Brian’s face, rubbing his thumb across his stubble, and planted a very chaste kiss on Brian’s lips. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime to Roger. He pressed his head against Brian’s, letting out a small chuckle and Brian laughed back. 

Roger knows they shouldn’t be kissing at the stall. Anyone could see and Roger wasn’t in the mood to deal with slurs thrown at him. And he is too damn exhausted to fight anyone who says one negative thing to Brian. 

“Come over? You can cook me dinner. I’ll watch you and drink beer.” Roger asked.

“You’re rather bold, aren’t you?”

“Just being honest, Brimi.” Roger said standing on his feet, reaching a hand out for Brian. 

-

“I thought you were gonna cook me dinner” Roger smirked as Brian pushed him up against the wall of Deaky’s flat.

Roger had no plans of pushing Brian and thought they would talk before doing anything remotely sexual. His thoughts went out the window as soon as the walked into the flat at Brian pinned Roger’s hands above his head and started attacking his neck, sucking bruises and slotting a leg between Roger’s. All the blood rushed straight to Roger’s cock and he couldn’t help but moan as Brian rubbed his leg against it. He let out little ah, ah, ah’s and tried to gain friction by grinding on Brian’s leg.

“Mhm, dinner, talking, and all that later. I need you. I need this.” Brian said smashing his lips against Roger’s.

Roger let Brian gain dominance over the kiss, letting Brian’s tongue plunge into his mouth. Roger felt dizzy from arousal, moaning into Brian’s mouth. He was going for sexy but it probably came across desperate. He couldn’t say anything besides ‘Brian’ and ‘Oh God’. Brian only puled back for a second to strip Roger and himself of their shirts, followed by their trousers and briefs. 

Roger stared at Brian’s naked body, chest heaving. His broad shoulders draped with his bouncy curls. His legs that seemed never ending. His thick cock settled perfectly between his legs. The perfectly trimmed patch of hair. Roger didn’t know it was possible for his dick to get even harder than it was. He didn’t know how long he was staring, and he could see Brian starting to shift nervously.

“Fuck Rog. You are absolutely beautiful, I’m sorry I’m not better looking.” Brian said softly.

Roger cupped Brian’s face, kissing him gently.

“Shut up, I’m pretty sure you were sculpted by a Greek God. And if you don’t bring me to bed right now I think my cock is gonna burst right here.” Roger said firmly.

Brian picked him up by the back of his thighs and carried him to his nook. Dropping him down so he could hover him. He kissed down Roger’s neck, making his way to his nipples. He suck on the one gently while using his hand to play with the other. Roger let out a high pitched moan and arched his back off the futon, followed by a FUCK. Brian alternated nipples until both were wet and erect, Brian pressing a final kiss to the before kissing down his stomach. He ghosted over Roger’s cock before pressing kisses up and down the thick member.

“Bri, please. Want your mouth.” Roger begged.

Brian took the head of his cock in his mouth, swirling his tongue around and using his hand to stroke it at the base. Roger let out soft moans, gripping the sheets and trying not to buck up into Brian’s mouth. He took more of Roger’s cock in his mouth until his nose was pressed against Roger pubic hair. He bobbed his head up and down a few times, pulling off for a moment to catch his breath. 

“Please, fuck me.” Roger moaned. “Lube is in the drawer”  
Brian gave Roger’s cock a few strokes before going to grab the lube. He poured some out and warmed it the best he could before settling between Roger’s legs. He used his clean hand to guide Roger’s legs apart.

“Let me know if it hurts.” Brian said softly.

“Will do, just please get those fingers in me.” 

Brian slowly inserted one finger, giving Roger a moment to adjust before pumping it in and out. Roger was having no time for how slow the older boy was going. He started to grind down on Brian’s finger.

“Need more, please” Roger moaned. 

Brian sunk another finger in, giving him a few thrusts before he started to scissor the inside. Roger pulled Brian in for a kiss, moaning into his mouth, begging for another finger. Brian punched in a third, fucking Roger with his fingers. Attacking Roger’s prostate, causing him to see star behind his eyes. 

“So bloody hot and tight, Rog.” Brian moaned, sucking on Roger’s neck. “Can’t wait to be inside you.”

“Need it now, please fuck me”

Brian pulled his fingers out, lubed up his cock before lining it up against Roger’s entrance. “Gonna go slow, I wanna make you fee good.” Brian moaned as he slowly pushed in.

Roger tried to relax his body and Brian slowly slid in. He gave Roger a moment before sliding in all the way. Once he was fully seating, Roger wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist. He had his eyes closed shut, a death grip on the sheets. He never felt so full in his life. 

“Bloody hell, please move” Roger whined.

Brian slowly slid nearly all the way out before pushing back in. Roger loved the burn of Brian’s cock inside him. The way it seemed to fill him up to the brim, hitting his prostate with nearly every thrust. Brian set a slow pace before he started pounding into Roger’s tight heat. Roger couldn't help the porn like moans that escaped from his mouth or the fact that his eyes kept rolling to the back of his.

“Fuck Rog. Can’t believe how good you feel around me. Like you were made for this.” Brian said as he started to stroke Roger’s cock in time with his thrust.

“M’close” Roger moaned. 

Brian sped up his thrusts inside Roger while stroking Roger’s cock with a tighter grasp. Roger let out a combination of ‘Fuck Brian’ and ‘Oh God’ as he came in Brian’s hand. Roger’s vision blurred for a hot minute and when he came to, he realized Brian must have come too. Cos now he was resting his head in Roger’s neck, trying to catch his breath while placing kisses to Roger’s neck.

Brian slowly pulled out, grabbing tissues from the bedside locker to clean up Roger’s chest and between his legs. He tossed them in the bin before jumping back into bed, pulling Roger close to him.

“Mhm what a gentleman.” Roger said sounding absolutely fucked out.

“Shut up.” Brian joked, kissing Roger’s forehead. “Was is it good?”

“Better than I imagined Brimi. My arse is gonna be sore in the morning, so I’m not looking forward to that.”

“I’ll kiss it better, love.” 

**Brian**

He woke up the way he’s been dreaming of waking up over the pass few weeks; his face nestled into messy blond hair and his arm swung over Roger, holding him tight. He never wants to leave.

Brian could tell the younger boy is still sleeping and used this time to to inhale his intoxicating scent, study his breathing, and think about how this moment is everything he wants in his life. He knows the moment will go away once Roger wakes up and they talk. Brian isn’t even sure where he wants to begin or what questions he wants to ask.   
  
Roger started to stir and rolled over to face Brian, placing a kiss on his neck. Brian gave a weak smile in return.

“I can hear the cogs turning in your head.” Roger said with a chuckle.

“Just thinking.”

Brian sat up in the bed, gesturing Roger to do the same. Brian told Roger he wants to them to do honest. And Brian had to be honest.

“I’m going to tell you something, and you can’t get mad.” Brian said. He waited for Roger to give him a nod before he continued. “I’ve been giving Fred money to give to you. He’s stall makes shit money and now he’s splitting it with you. Before you say you don’t need help, I’m not doing it to take pity on you. I’m doing it cos you stopped dancing for me. I’m doing it cos I want to.”

Rogers face looks like he wants to argue with Brian, but the look faded into him squinting his eyes at Brian. He finally gave Brian a huge grin.

“Well thank you Dr. May.” Roger said. “So you said you wanted to talk?”

Brian asked Roger simple questions, just trying to get a better understanding of why Roger didn’t tell him. Or why he felt like he couldn’t tell him. To which Roger told him that he was scared to lose Brian and just didn’t know how to tell him. And when he started gathering the courage to tell him, Roger was too far in. They talked about how neither one judged each other. Brian must have brought up the blow job and hand jobs more times than he wanted to, but her couldn’t get it out of his head. He needed Roger to reassure him that it was prostitution. Roger told him over ten times that it was nothing and to stop thinking about it like that. 

Roger told Brian that his independence is something he needs to hold onto. Brian listened as Roger talked about everything that happened in the last 5 years and how he isn’t ashamed. He made sure Brian knows that he is damn proud of himself. Brian felt a smile creep across his own face. He is also damn proud of Roger.

After two hours of talking, Brian felt better. He had a better understanding. He was no longer pissed at himself and he trusts Roger. Both boys exhausted and hungry. The had changed into clothes, Brian borrowed his clothes back from Roger. Cos there is no way his long legs will fit into Roger’s pants. They retired to the kitchen table, drinking tea and eating the quick makeshift breakfast Brian made for the two of them.

“One more thing.” Brian said stealing food off Roger’s plate. “Why Rainbow?”

“That crowd who beat me up when I was younger, used to call me Rainbow. Cos of how I dressed and for being gay. I always hated it. So when I started dancing and needed a name, I figured I’d take the insult and make something out of it. Plus the old pervy men loved it.” Roger explained. 

Brian’s heart sunk. He tried his best to not let it show on his face, he didn’t want to upset Roger. Or have Roger flip the table if he thought Brian was taking pity on him.  
“You didn’t deserve any of the Rog.” Brian said pulling the blond boy in his lap. He peppered kisses to his neck. “You deserve so much. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” 

Brian could feel his erection growing, pressing into Roger’s back side. 

“Someone’s eager. I know what I deserve right now. And I know what you deserve right now.” Roger said hoping off his lap to run to the nook.

Brian stood there wondering where the younger boy went. Roger returned with a bottle of lube and put himself in Brian’s lap. Straddling the older boy with a cheeky grin. 

It didn’t take long for Brian to prep Roger, he was still open from last night. Brian slid painfully slow into Roger. The blond boy waited a second before he started moving up and down on Brian’s cock. It was slow and passionate, nothing compared tot he dirty hot sex they had last night. Brain stared into the baby blue eyes in front of him as he jerked Roger off to orgasm, Brian finished nearly seconds after. 

Roger laid his head on Brian’s shoulder, catching his breath. Brian knows Roger did most of the work, so he let him stay there. Even if his now soft and very over sensitive cock was still inside Roger’s tight heat. A few moments he slid off of Brian, standing up on wobbly legs. 

“Deaky has a very nice and rather large bathtub.” Roger said raising an eyebrow. 

Brian scooped the younger man up bridal style and carried him to the bathroom. He didn’t mind that Roger was covered in sweat and come, even if it was a bit gross. He just cared about Roger in his arms. 

“I hate to have to ask again, but are we doing this for real? There’s no other secrets right?” Brian asked, only a little serious.

“Oi! Is this you asking me to be your boyfriend? Cos it wasn’t romantic the first time you asked. And it’s even less romantic now.” Roger started. “But of course you daft. Of course were’ doing this for real.”

Brian smiled, placing a kiss to his forehead. He was already thinking of all the ways he can spoil and care for Roger the way he deserves.  



	8. Open up my Eager Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger's relationship over the next few months filled with tooth rotting fluff, lots of sex and of course some angst cos I'm terrible.
> 
> Find me on tumblr Mother-mercury$$

**Roger**

Roger found himself smiling like an idiot almost all the time. It’s been three months since they decided to do this thing for real the second time around. His life couldn’t be better. He has his mates Freddie and Deaky and he also has the sweetest boyfriend in the galaxy, he’s pretty convinced. The four of them spend nearly all of their time together. Roger loves it. He has the family he’s always wanted. 

The school year is nearly over, his classes are paid for, and he still has money left over. Not much. He knows Brian is still giving Fred money. He tries not to let it bother him, he also tries to show how grateful he is. Even though he uses every other breath to tell Brian that he doesn’t need his help. Brian will just kiss his forehead and say “you’re welcome”.

Brian has been great at letting him have his independence. Roger understands he means well when he wants to help him out. So Roger lets Brian buy him dinner or random bits and pieces he needs. And Roger thanks him by blowing him in Brian’s kitchen while dinner’s in the oven.

They settled into a very domesticated life together. Roger refuses to keep anything more than a toothbrush and a couple shirts or trousers. He isn’t ready to give up his little nook at Deaky’s to move in with Brian. Roger cares for him deeply and wants to take that next step. No, he would love to take that next step. But as Roger’s history will tell him, sometimes good things end. He will not let Brian know that’s reason, he doesn’t need Brian overthinking it. So he avoids the subject when it gets brought up. Deaky spends nearly all his time at Freddie’s, so it’s like Roger has his own place.

All in all, Roger’s happy. Like really fucking happy.  
  
“So do you love him?” Deaky bluntly asks while they’re at the bar one night.

Freddie and Brian were out with some old mates, so Deaky and Roger finally had a night just the two of them. It was a rare occurrence these days.

Roger choked on his beer. “Do you love Freddie?” Roger asks back.

He knows it wasn’t a smooth way to avoid the question. He’s just not ready to answer. His answer is yes, he really fucking loves Brian. He’s just not sure if Brian feels the same way yet. Things have been going great and Roger doesn’t want to screw it up by saying I love you too soon.

“Freddie told me he loves me a week in, you know the man has no patience. I told him a few days later. So yeah, I love Freddie. I am in love with Freddie. Now what about you Rog?” Deaky said in a soft voice.

“I think he loves me. He tells me I’m the best thing that happened to him and compares me to the stars in the sky. And you know the big space nerd that he is, so that’s a huge compliment.” Roger said with little confidence. “And I think I love him.”

Deaky went into a passionate rant about how Brian looks at him as if he’s the damn sun. How Freddie even said that Brian has never smiled this much. How the two of them have bets on who is going to say it first, Deaky won’t tell him who his money is on. Deaky got caught up in the liquor and his own words.

“He won’t stop pestering Freddie and I about what to get you for your three month anniversary. That’s not even a thing. You know who celebrates things like that? People who are head over heels in love with someone.” Deaky said putting his hand over his mouth. “Oi! He wants the gift to be a surprise so I’m gonna shut up now.”

Roger watched as Deaky chugged the rest of his pint. Roger tried to not let his mind wander about what Brian got for him. He felt like shit, he didn’t even think about getting him a gift. Even though month anniversaries aren’t something Roger even knew about. Deaky must have noticed the look on his face, he put a hand a Roger’s shoulder.

“Deak’s I really can’t afford to get him a gift. And if I did, it would be with his own money. Bloody hell.” Roger explained, downing his pint. 

He had a few ideas for things he could do for Brian. Their three month is tomorrow so he doesn’t have the time to make him anything or plan something special. Buying Brian gifts was hard, his parents supported him and money was never something Brian worried about. That made it difficult for Roger to buy him something. Cos whatever Brian wants, he can buy himself. 

-

Roger and Deaky walked with each other until they had to part ways, going to their respective boyfriends flat. Both boys buzzing hard from the drinks, not drunk but definitively not sober. They said their goodbyes, Roger planted a sloppy kiss to Deaky’s cheek then ran to Brian’s flat. He wasn’t sure the next time they’d hang out just the two of them. And he had such a great time tonight, he forgot how much he loves his best friend.

But right now, he really needs his boyfriend.

Roger banged on Brian’s door, a little louder than necessary. He’s a little too excited about the idea he has for Brian’s gift. He found himself bouncing on his toes. He told Brian he was sleeping at Deaky’s tonight and to not wait up. He also didn’t think it through that Brian might still be out with Fred. Panic swept through, realizing he didn’t have a key to Brian’s flat and he’s too tired to make his way back to Deaky’s. All fear was washed away when a very sleep Brian opened the door, rubbing his eyes. Roger’s heart raced picked up and he flung himself on the tired man.

“Fuck, Rog.” Brian said with a sleepy laugh, nearly falling backwards. “Glad you’re here and all. But did things go south with John?”

“Oh Deaky’s just dandy_ HICCUP _ I just wanted to give you a gift for our three month anniversary. And since it’s after midnight, that’s _HICCUP_ now.” Roger explained in a firm voice, trying to display his confidence.

Roger got on his tip toes to give Brian a kiss, he is hoping the older man is waking up more. He ran his hands along Brian’s body, slipping his hand under his shirt to play with Brian’s chest hair. Pulling maybe just a little too hard. 

Brian pulled them inside the flat, sitting on the couch with Roger seated on his lap.

“I don’t need anything from you love. Having you in my life is a gift every single day. I swear you’re a star, so bright and beautiful.” Brian said kissing the top of Roger’s head. 

Usually Roger would melt into a puddle on the floor at Brian’s words. But Roger is in a different mood tonight. He could feel Brian getting hard, he moved his hand out from Brian’s shirt to cup the growing bulge. Brian threw his hand back and let out a low moan.

“I’m know you always call me your star and you know I adore it. Tonight I don’t want to be a your star. I was hoping I could be your Rainbow.” Roger said, grinding down on Brian. “Don’t you miss Rainbow, Bri?”

Roger and Brian haven’t spoke about those days, not out of embarrassment but more of an onward and upwards kinda thing. He had his fingers crossed that it didn’t make his boyfriend uncomfortable. Things have been going so well, Roger didn’t want to fuck them up.

“You wanna put on a show for me, mhm?” Brian growled. “Such a pretty little Rainbow in my lap.”

Roger was rock hard inside his trousers, he let out a small whimper listening to Brian’s words. He got up and put on a record, not bothering to check what it was. Part of him was worried it was a lame gift to give him. Then he looked over his shoulder and saw Brian palming his erection, his pupils blown while he stared at Roger. He used how turned on Brian is to gather up the confidence to put on a little show for his boyfriend. Not having done in this three months, Roger felt terribly out of practice.

But this is Brian and Roger didn’t have to worry trying to be sexy. This is his boyfriend who kissed him on the mouth, even after he puked on the side of a building. His boyfriend who thinks Roger looks sexy in his glasses and white briefs that don’t flatter him at all. His boyfriend who was so turned on by him dancing in the club that Brian rushed them to the dirty pub loo and fucked him against the sink. 

Roger slowly walked over to Brian, swaying his hips while rubbing a hand over his chest. He stopped a foot in front of his boyfriend before turning around, bending over, and untying the laces on his converse. Making a show by wiggling his ass as he slipped them off along with his sock. He could hear Brian’s breath picking up. He faced him again and Brian pulled him close, mouthing at Roger’s cock through the trousers. Roger pushed him back with both hands.

“Sorry Sir, but no touching.” Roger said removing his shirt and tossing it Brian.

Brian let out a groan and said something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry’. Roger couldn’t hear and he didn’t care to be honest. It was just part of the little scene they were doing and it was turning them both on even more.

Roger started to dance in front of him, swaying his hips to the music for a bit. Rolling his hips. Playing with his nipples. Grabbing his own ass. He maintained eye contact with Brian through it all. He could see Brian becoming flustered with the whole no touching thing. He turned around and plopped down on Brian’s lap and started dancing against Brian’s bulge.

After a few minutes, though it felt like hours, Roger stood up to remove his pants. Making a show by bend over more than he needed. Brian let out a ‘FUCK’ when he noticed Roger had no pants on underneath. He wishes it was for a sexy reason but the truth is that Deaky usually did the laundry. And with not being home as often meant that Roger had to do his own and Roger hates doing laundry. But he’ll let Brian think he wore no pants just for this reason.

He faced Brian, his cock standing straight up, leaking precum on his stomach. Roger knows he has maybe two minutes before he comes. Brian stared at him with hungry eyes, like he’s never seen the blond boy naked before. Roger put out his hand to pull Brian up and to pull his trousers and pants down. He whipped Brian’s shirt off placed gentle kisses to the dark haired mans nipples, trailing all the way to his public hair. Avoiding his cock at all costs.

“Such a tease.” Brian said licking his lips. “Wanna touch you. So bloody beautiful Rainbow.”

Roger pushed Brian down on the couch and straddled Brian, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck.

“Not sure what my boyfriend would think if he found out.” Roger joked, wrapping a hand around Brian’s cock.

Brian bucked up into his hand, letting out a string of curses and moans.

“He probably won’t mind, but we don’t have to tell him. FUCK please, go faster.” Brian begged.

Roger jacked off Brian, peppering kisses along his jaw. Roger is close and knows there is no way he’s getting off untouched.

“Please, Bri. Please touch me. Need your hands.”

Brian grabbed his cock, jacking him off in time with Roger. Both boys panting, nearly coming within seconds of each other. Coating each other with thick ropes of come. Roger laid his head in Brian’s neck while Brian used his clean hand to run his fingers through Roger’s hair.

“You like your present Brimi?” Roger asked after he came down from his high.

Brian reached down to pick up one of their shirts to help clean them up the best they could. 

“Very much. I don’t think mine will even compare, don’t even want to give you it now.” Brian said placing a chaste kiss on Roger’s lips.

Roger was about to make a cheeky comment when Brian picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. He set the younger boy on the bed before disappearing for a minute. If Roger wasn’t so fucked out, he would have asked half a dozen questions. Instead, he laid there thinking about how much he loves Brian.

Brian emerged with a wet washcloth and a small brown paper bag. He must’ve cleaned himself up in the bathroom, Roger thought. Brian joined him on the bed, gently and thoroughly cleaning him up. Roger loves this part, even if he felt gross while covered in come. Knowing his boyfriend is gonna clean him up made it better. Brian tossed the washcloth near the hamper, pulling the blanket over them.

Roger loves him. No one has ever been this kind to him before. No one has ever made Roger feel this way before. 

“I need to talk to you.” Brian said.

“I love you.” Roger said in the same breath as Brian.

Both boys stared at each other and Roger wished he never opened his mouth.

“You go first.” Roger said, hoping Brian would just ignore what he said.

“I uh- okay shit. I want to talk to you. Please don’t freak out.” Brian started, handing Roger the brown paper bag. “I know you don’t want to move in and I don’t want to push you. But my gift to you is a key to my flat. You can come here when I’m not. You can stop banging my door after midnight. I want this to at least be a second home for you.”

Well Fuck, Roger thought. He didn’t think that was where he was going. He pulled the key out and examined it like a crystal. 

“Thanks Bri. This means a lot.” Roger said. “I’m not gonna move all my stuff cos I still like to have my own place.. It’s nothing against you. Things just tend to go to shit around me. Not that I’m planning on things going to shit but you-”

“I love you. I love you so much.” Brian cut him off. Clearly not having time for Roger to finish talking. “I told you I want to do this for real. I love you and I’m not going anywhere. I can’t promise you things are always going to perfect but I promise to always fight for you.”

Roger stroked his thumb across Brian’s face as he spoke, letting every word out of the older mans mouth burn into his brain. Placing kisses along his jaw and ending with one in Brian’s lips. Brian pulled him in tightly against his chest, running a hand up and down his back. 

“I love you Roger Taylor.”

“I love you Brian May. Now please let me sleep or I’ll stop loving you.”

“Doubt it.”

-

**3 Months Later**

“I don’t want to go out tonight, I don’t care if it’s my birthday.” Roger pouted from inside the bathroom.

He knows he’s acting like a child but he specifically said he didn’t want to go out for his birthday and Freddie purposely planned an extravagant night out. It wasn’t that he didn’t like going out. It was the fact that he’s never made a big deal out of his birthday. It wasn’t until he met Deaky that he actually celebrated his birthday. His aunt always told him it’s selfish to expect a lot on your birthday. Which was usually him taking a night off and the two them drinking beer at the flat and treating themselves to somewhat expensive take away. 

He didn’t need Brian making a big deal out of the fact it’s his birthday.

“Rog, it’s one night and Freddie worked very hard organizing it.” Brian said sounding exhausted. “You love dancing and drinking. Just come out and please get ready. Don’t make me beg Roger, cos I’ll do it.”

Roger sat on the bathroom floor, trying incredibly hard to stand his ground. He’s not going out. Over his dead body. It’s just a birthday. Why’d Brian have to make a big deal out of it?

“Please, my beautiful star. I’ll give you anything. You deserve it, not only on your birthday but the other 364 days too.” Brian banged his head against the door. “I have a present for you. But you have to come out.”

“I don’t want a present. I don’t want to go out.” Roger said standing up to open the door.

Brian nearly fell forward but Roger caught him. He cupped the taller boys face, squeezing his cheeks. 

“Please let’s just stay in” Roger begged.

Brian let out a loud, frustrated groan. “Bloody hell Roger, must you be so stubborn all the time! Let me give you your birthday gift. Let’s go out and celebrate with friends. I understand Roger that you were brought up to think you deserve nothing and that working at the club made you think you had to earn what you were given but that’s not your life anymore.”

Roger wants to fight back, he wants to stand his ground. Brian has been too good Roger, even when Roger is being a right pain in the ass. Over the last three months Roger has slowly moved in a few things into Brian’s flat. His boyfriend wishes he would move in more but he didn’t push him. Brian told him to call it their flat but Roger still calls it Brian’s flat. Roger knows he’s been stubborn.

That’s not the only thing Brian is right about. Roger finds it hard to believe he deserves Brian and things that come with Brian. He’s constantly denies the presents Brian buys him. If he stays by Brian’s flat for a few days in a row, Roger insists on buying groceries. Roger knows Brian has been patient with him.

Roger pushed pass Brian and sat on the bed with his eyes closed, holding out his hands. “Alright, where’s my gift.”

He heard Brian chuckle and him rummaging through the closet then placed something like a box in Roger’s hands. Roger opened his eyes and tore off the wrapping paper like a child. Inside the box was a blazer with Rainbow vertical stripes along it. Roger raised an eyebrow before putting it on. It fit perfectly and he never wanted to take it off.

“You look amazing love. I saw it in the shop and I just knew you needed it. You like it?” Brian said smiling from ear to ear. “You should wear it out tonight.”

“I think I will.” Roger answered, checking himself out in the mirror.

“There’s a second part to the gift in the pocket.” Brian said, clearing his throat.

Roger reached in, slightly confused and pulled out a small envelope. Inside is three blank checks made out to Roger. He held them up to Brian, hoping for an explanation. 

“Rog, I love you and your independence. It also drives me mad. So take those checks and finish paying for school. If you keep going part-time at Uni, you’ll die before you can finish.” Brian explained. “I’m proud of you Roger, so bloody proud. You did this all by yourself up to this point, please let me help you cross the finish line.”

A few months ago Roger would have ripped the checks and let Brian know he doesn’t need help. He would have started a fight about how he is no ones basket case. Something changed over the last couple months. He isn’t sure if he grew up or if he has come to terms with Brian being there to help him. Maybe it’s a mixture of both.

“Thank you, Brian. This is greatest birthday I have ever had. Better than that time Deaky and I stole a pizza cos we didn’t have enough to pay for it.” Roger said blinking back tears. “But this is a loan. I will pay you back, someday one day.” 

Brian pulled him into a hug and mumbled something along the lines of ‘sure love’. Roger knows damn well Brian isn’t expecting to be paid back. It’s probably his parents money anyways. And even Roger knows he’s not gonna pay him back. He’s hoping that by the time he can pay Brian back, the two of them will have a joint bank account.

-

The disco is loud and hot. It’s been a while since Roger has gone out for a night out on the town. When he worked at the club, he could never go out. And once he started doing it for real with Brian, they preferred small pubs and parties at the flat. But Freddie planned this for him, so he’s out tonight for Freddie. He slapped on a happy face and linked arms with his boyfriend until they hit the back corner of the disco. There were a few booths reserved and some friends of him and Deaky’s as well as a few blokes he met at the stall. 

Roger is glad Freddie picked a gay disco. That meant he could spend the night in Brian’s arms, either on the dance floor or while seated in his lap.

“Oh lovely, happy birthday!” Freddie said, planting a kiss to his forehead.

He handed Roger a shot that he gladly took, not caring what it is.

“Oi Roggie! 24 already? Getting old mate.” Deaky said pulling him in for a hug.

Roger said his thank you’s to his friends for coming and for Freddie setting it up. He retired to Brian’s lap, sipping some fruity drink Freddie gave him. The boys went back and fourth with the banter. Making jokes about Roger getting older and Deaky being a baby, even though he’s turning 22 in a month. They joked about Roger and Freddie be right slobs at home and how if they were a couple the flat would be destroyed.

“Thank God I have my John. He’ll be officially moved in by August and I’ll never have to clean again.” Freddie grinned. “Bet you’re gonna miss having Deaky around to clean, huh Roggie?”

Roger nodded his head in agreement, only stopping when he realized he had no idea what was going on. Deaky never once mentioned to him that he was moving out. Roger found himself getting heated in anger. He didn’t know what Deaky is planning on doing with the flat. Deaky knows Roger can’t afford the flat by himself.

“Didn’t know he’s moving out. Thanks for the heads up, mate. I’ll just pack my shit and move into the alley behind the flat.” Roger snapped, jumping off Brian’s lap to get a drink.

He didn’t bother to look back, especially now that he’s feeling guilty for snapping. Deaky didn’t deserve that. Neither of them stayed at the flat. It’s a waste to have. Roger goes there the rare occasion Brian goes out. He bought himself a pint and a shot, looking back at his friends. He could see Brian talking to them, his brows were furred which meant Brian was probably telling them about how Roger didn’t even want to go out tonight. 

Roger decided to have a moment alone before he stepped back to his friends. 

“You look familiar” the bloke next to him said. “We met before.”

He’s an older lad, maybe in his 50’s. If Roger’s life depended on remembering him, he’d die on the spot. He rolled his eyes at the bloke before going back to his drink. He ordered another pint for him and Brian.

“I think the blazer suits, Rainbow.” The man said. Roger could swear someone poured ice water on him. “Haven’t seen you at Red Diamond in a few years. One moment you were grinding that tight arse on my cock and wanking me off in a back room. Then the next you were gone.”

Roger was experiencing both hot flashes and cold sweats as the man spoke. He never thought someone would remember him. But perverts seem to have a better memory. He only started to wear the wig at Mr. G’s, it was closer to Uni and he didn’t want to risk someone finding out it was him.

Roger ignored the man, waiting for his pints.

“How about we head to loo or back alley and if you can make up for lost time.” He said reaching out to touch Roger’s arm. “Never got to experience your mouth. Such a tease, you lovely thing.”

“I have a boyfriend and I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Roger explained, grabbing the pints and power walking to his mates.

He placed them down in the table before settling into Brian’s lap. He refused to look back at the bar, not wanting to make eye contact with the bloke. Brian noticed he tense is and started to rub his back slowly.

“Roggie, I was gonna tell you. I didn’t think it was a big deal, you basically live with Brian.” Deaky explained, giving Roger puppy dog eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine Deak’s I over reacted. I’ll just take over the rent, no big deal.” Roger said, trying to ignore the frown the flashed across Brian’s face. 

Roger didn’t want to ruin the night so he half forgave Deaky just so they could move on. He ignored the frown from Brian, not in the mood to explain himself to Brian. And he’s too damn tense cos he can feel that bloke staring at him. 

They went back to taking the piss out on each other and making plans for Deaky’s birthday. Brian said he could host a party at his flat for him. Roger playfully hit Brian and pretending to be angry that Brian is okay with staying in for Deaky’s birthday but not Roger’s. Brian attacked Roger with kisses and the younger boy giggled while pretending to protest the affection.

Roger found himself piss drunk on Brian’s lap, his boyfriend was drinking slower than usual tonight. Wanting to have his wits about him to so he could take of Roger, if need be. Freddie and Deaky made their way to the dance floor. Leaving the couple to themselves. Whispering sweet nothings. Brian listed off his favorite things about the birthday boy; his eyes and cock are tied for first.

“This must be the boyfriend.” Roger heard the bloke say, he was standing maybe a foot away. “Very lucky to have him.” 

Brian nodded and introduced himself, trying his best to put a hand out for him to shake. Roger knows he can’t stand up since he’s in his lap. The stranger didn’t shake his hand and instead tilted a head to look at Roger then back at Brian.

“He was always my favorite twink at the club, gave the best hand jobs.” The stranger growled. “But you know that better than anyone.”

Roger could feel the shame washing over him. He tried to make eye contact with Brian. It was no use since he is fixated on the stranger. Brian had his mouth open like he wanted to say something but he couldn’t.

“Don’t look so surprised. You must’ve known the twink is a little whore. He would beg to touch my cock, always so needy.” The man moaned, he reached out and pushed some of Roger’s hair before his ear.

Roger froze at the touch and felt completely useless and worthless in his boyfriends lap. He knows after tonight there is no way Brian would want to stay with him. This must put into perspective just how dirty Roger use to be.

Roger could feel Brian tense underneath him. Brian stood up fast, knocking Roger off his lap and onto the floor. _I deserve that, Roger thought_. He’s expecting Brian to leave him on the dirty floor and storm off. Maybe even spit at his feet.

Brian stood in front of the stranger. 

“Don’t talk about him like that. Don’t fucking touch him or I swear to God. I’ll kill you.” Brian said nearly shouting.

“Don’t get so angry lad. Let’s go to the loo and we can show him a good time toget-” was all he managed to say before Brian threw a punch to the side of his face.

The bloke fell to the ground and Brian dropped down over him, a crazed look in his eyes. “Don’t. You. Ever. Come. Near. Him. Again.” Brian shouted, throwing a punch somewhere on his face after every word. 

Freddie had ran other to pull Brian off him, trying his best to hold him back. Deaky ran over to Roger, picking him up off the ground. He’s wobbling from the alcohol and from the situation at hand.

At some point a few bouncers came and escorted the four of them out. Gay discos and clubs rarely called the police, not wanting any unwanted attention form the law. They walked in silence together until they hit the mid point between Freddie and Brian’s flat. Each couple went their own way. Brian pulled Roger under his arm, squeezing him tight. The walk seemed forever and Roger just wants to go home. 

Back at the flat, Roger ran straight to the bathroom. Vomiting everything he drank tonight. He knew he drank like a fish tonight but he never vomits. Brian joined him a few minutes later with a glass of water and some buttered toast. Roger knows he doesn’t deserve Brian and this moment makes him think that even more.

Roger downed the glass of water and inhaled the toast.

“Feeling better, love?” Brian asked, wiping the crumbs off his boyfriends face.

“He’s right, you know? I am a bloody twink and a god damn whore. You should have left me on the floor of the disco.” Roger said leaning his head against the wall.

“I’m a bloody perv who pays strippers to jack me off. You know I once tipped a stripper to blow me? I’m such a loser.” Brian said resting his hand on Roger’s thigh. Roger couldn’t make out his tone. “Turns out he was a student of mine, so that was super unethical. Not to mention bonkers illegal.”

Roger snapped his head up to look at Brian, anger flooded throughout his body. He never once thought about Brian like that. He never once compared Brian to the pervy old men. He couldn’t believe is boyfriend had no little respect for himself.

“Brian Harold May! You will not talk about yourself like that. You know I think no differently of you. I thought we moved passed this.” Roger said, standing up on wobbly legs. “How can we move forward if you still think so little of yourself!”

Brian let out a small laugh, standing up to meet Roger’s eyes.

“Rog, I don’t really think that way anymore. I haven’t since we talked that night. I was trying to get you to realize how stupid you sound right now.” Brian explained, kissing his lips. “I don’t give a damn about it, any of it. If you pulled that shit while dating me, I’d be pissed. The past is the past, I never once cared about it. That bloke from the disco can fuck off.”

Roger opened his mouth to argue with him, then snapped it shut when he realized Brian is right. It took him this long to realize that he is the only one with the problem. Well not even him. Roger was convinced that Brian had a problem and that’s what he’s been holding onto. Letting that go is letting go of a weight he didn’t even realize was on his chest. Roger doesn’t have to tell Brian he’s over it. The smiles they gave to each other is the unspoken reassurance between the two of them. 

“I love you, now please take me to bed.” Roger said jumping on Brian, wrapping his legs around his boyfriend. 

-

In the days following, Roger and Brian helped pack up Deaky’s flat and move him into Freddie’s. Well Freddie and Brian were packing, Roger and Deaky were drinking wine and reminiscing about the days of living together. The posters that were covering holes from Roger getting drunk and punching them. The first night Roger started crashing on his couch that ended with him crawling into Deaky’s bed cos the lightning scared him. 

Roger looked around the near empty flat and felt his rush of sadness take over. He waited for Brian and Freddie to take some boxes down to Brian’s van so he could confront Deaky.

“It really fucking hurt when I had to find out you were moving in with Freddie from Freddie and not you.” Roger said boldly, not minding if he ruined the mood.

“Rog, I said I was sorry. I honestly didn’t know it was that big of a deal. Neither of us are here. More than half your crap is it Bri’s. I thought it was time.” Deaky explained, he looked genuinely sorry. “I know we don’t hang out just the two of us but you’re still my best mate. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Roger refilled their glasses and took a drink of his own. Pondering over Deaky’s words. “I know it’s silly the whole thing made me feel forgotten and abandoned, ya know? I’m not ready to move into Bri’s yet and you know damn well I cannot afford this flat on my own. But you made this decision without giving me a heads up and I-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Rog. I know you’re pissed at me about not telling and I’ll let you use that against me for the rest of my life. You’re mad cos now this gives you a pretty enormous reason why you should move it with Brian and you don’t like that. You don’t like that you are moving in not on your terms. I can see through you Roger Meddows Taylor.” Deaky said hitting him with his shoe. “You fucking wanker! I was about to kiss your ass over this but now I’m not” 

Roger tried to give Deaky a look of bewilderment but he quickly dropped the act. It was no use Deaky could see through his shit so fast. Roger let out a sigh and rolled his eyes at his friend.

“So end of an era.” Roger said, changing the subject. 

“But the start of a new one.” Deaky said tipping his glass to Roger.

Once the Deaky’s stuff was all out the flat, the four boys sat down with takeaway. Roger and Deaky still hoarding the wine, Roger occasionally giving Brian a sip or two. There was an unspoken sadness in the room. While Roger and Deaky were rarely at the flat together these days, it’s still sad thinking about him moving. Roger will never forget the day he showed up soaking wet from the rain, tearing streaming down his face, and a bottle of whiskey. And his stuff was moved in the next day.

Freddie took over a dozen pictures of Deaky and then with Deaky and Roger around the flat. Deaky signed his name inside the cupboard, just for giggles. After they cleaned everything up, Freddie and Deaky said their goodbyes and left Roger and Brian at Deaky’s flat. At Deaky’s old flat.

“Would you like to help me move your stuff out of the nook and into the bedroom?” Brian ask. 

Roger could hear the fake cheerfulness in his voice.

Brian sat on the futon as Roger started to gather somethings. He didn’t want to stay here, he wanted to move in with Brian. Deaky was right, Roger was protesting moving in cos it wasn’t on his terms. Roger stared at the contents of the nook and let out small chuckle, there was barely anything to move into the room. He remembered the box under the futon, the box of his dancing clothes. To Roger, it felt like a bomb was under the futon.

“Rog, why don’t you just move in?” Brian said, sounding exhausted. “I’d like you to. No. I would fucking love for you to be officially moved in.” 

Roger dropped down to the ground, reaching around for the old box. Once he grabbed it, it plopped it on Brian’s lap, gesturing for him to open it. After the older man did, he raised an eyebrow clearly waiting for an explanation.

“Those are my outfits I wore when I use to strip.” Roger said casually.

“Are you bringing these to the bedroom? My flat? I’m not following.” Brian questioned.

Roger grabbed the box, emptying the contents onto the floor. Kicking it around so it was all spread out.

“I was a stripper who lived on his mates couch. We started dating and you found out I was the stripper you became friends with. Right? The you came in like some night in shining armor and made sure I was taken care of. I basically moved into your flat. Your flat Brian. It’s never gonna be our flat, I don’t care if you call it our flat. It’s not. It’s your flat.” Roger explained. “I know it’s sounds stupid but I don’t want it to be some place I associate with my stripping days. Just like this stupid box of clothes in this dumb nook it Deaky’s flat.”  
  
Roger wasn’t sure if he’s making much sense, but his boyfriend is smart so hopefully he’ll figure it out. He stood there, hands on his hips. His head cocked waiting for Brian to respond.

“Alright, I’ll speak with a Realtor and we can put my flat on the market and start looking for a flat for us. But for the time being, let’s get your shit out of here so no one has to pay rent for the next month.” Brian said. “Throw the clothes out or burn em. Whatever you want. A fresh start.”

“Yeah one of those. I want a big bathtub and two bedrooms. Cos when Deaky comes to sleep over, you are gonna have to sleep in the guest room while Deaky and I sleep in the master.” Roger said with a smile. 

Brian pulled Roger in for a hug, passionately kissing him. Roger straddle him, feeling himself growing hard.

“The first time we had sex was right here, only seems right to have sex here one last time before you move out.” Brian moaned.

They made love on the futon. Roger riding Brian slowly as the older man stroked his cock in time as he bounced on him. Both of them coming nearly at the same time. They laid down in the mess of sweat and come, snuggling close together. Cleaning themselves up and packing can wait till the morning, neither of them want to ruin this peaceful moment.


	9. And my Stomach is Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Brian fight cos we're all over due for some angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter!! I don't want this to end but excited to start my other fics. <3
> 
> Find me on tumblr Mother-mercury44

**Roger**

**2 months later**

“Bri! Fuck,” Roger moaned as he spilled into Brian’s hand.

Brian thrusted into him a few more times before he came inside Roger, gripping the younger mans hips. Brian laid splayed over Roger’s body who was bent over the kitchen table. Brian pressed a few kisses on his shoulders before pulling out of Roger, who was not moving anytime soon. Brian cleaned them both up, while Roger sat on the kitchen floor naked waiting for Brian to join them.

“You tired? I thought you said something about us christening every room of the new flat? We still have the bathroom.” Brian explained, joining Roger on the floor.

Roger would love to finish the last room but he’s exhausted. Not that he did much of the work today, Brian manged to bring them both to orgasm in every room. One way or another.

“How is your cock not ready to fall off?” Roger playfully asked.

“Just over six months of having to please my sex deviant boyfriend has prepared me for this moment. I’m all for calling it, we can have shower sex in the morning.” Brian said.

Roger nodded in agreement, his head rest on Brian’s shoulder. He let his boyfriend pick him up and carry him into their bedroom. Both immediately cuddling up together and dozing off in their bed.

_Their bed. _

_Their bedroom._

_In their flat._

Roger loves saying that. He’ll use any excuse to let people know he lives in a flat with his boyfriend. They’ve only had the flat for a week and this is their first night sleeping in it. They spent the last week painting and decorating, which is where the bumped heads for the first time. Roger loves sparkles and animal print while Brian loves a nice solid color scheme. It took a few days to find a nice balance. Or maybe it was Brian has no backbone when it comes to Roger.

And Roger used that to his advantage and that’s why they have a leopard printed love seat in the living room. Brian doesn’t care if it doesn’t fit in with the rest of the decor, he just cares about how big Roger’s smile was when it was delivered. Slowly but surely their flat was coming together. Neither of them were in any rush either. They just love being together in their flat. 

Roger’s classes had started and he is enrolled as a full time student (using the checks from Brian to pay for them), which meant he didn’t have a ton of time to help Freddie with the stall. He apologized to Brian for not being able to contribute to the bills and Brian assured him it was okay. They both new going into this that Roger wouldn’t be paying much and Brian never once used it against him or told him it wasn’t his flat any less.

The sweetest boyfriend, the most perfect flat, his best friend also falling in love, and him being nearly done with Uni. Roger’s never been happier.

-  
Freddie and Deaky were over for a few drinks and scrabble. The game was quickly abandoned when Roger crawled across the game board over to Deaky and Freddie. He grabbed both their left hands and raised an eyebrow.

“You both are wearing rings on your left ring finger? What’s this about?” Roger asked boldly.

Deaky blushed grabbing his hand from Roger. 

Roger glanced back to Brian for back up on the conversation, Brian shot him an equally confused look. 

“I mean obviously we didn’t get married legally, darling,” Freddie said, grabbing his hand back. “They’re technically engagement rings but we decided to just go big and call them wedding rings. You know until the wankers get the stick out of their arses and I can marry my John.”

Roger pulled them both into a hug, falling over onto the floor. He smothered them in kisses until Brian removed him off the two newly weds. Roger asked 100 questions about everything, insisting on them telling them the whole story. Deaky bought Freddie a promise ring and Freddie assumed it was an engagement ring. So Deaky just went with it and he has no regrets. 

Roger is slightly upset that neither of them told him but he got over it pretty fast. He still isn’t used to not being the most important person in Deaky’s life. He knows Deaky must feel the same way about Roger. It’s strange. A good strange.

Brian popped champagne and put on a record, insisting on make shift reception. Brian and Roger gave a quick toast, telling embarrassing stories while expressing their love for their best friends. They partied until the liquor ran out and Deaky was half asleep on the living room floor. Deaky and Freddie retired to the guest bedroom that is so often referred to their bedroom since they sleep here often enough. 

Once Roger and Brian were in bed, Roger could feel that something was off. 

“You good Brimi?” Roger asked, cuddling into Brian’s chest.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about Fred and John. I’m happy for them but it’d be nice if they could get legally married,” Brian sighed. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

Roger feels the same way about his two friends. He knows how the world works and it’s unfairness towards homosexuals. He would love to get married, throw a big party to show the world just how much he loves his husband. It’s something he thinks about often, way too often. He’s always been one to stand up for himself and his sexuality. He’s been beat up more times than he can count for standing up for himself. It doesn’t matter, Roger knows deep down the world isn’t changing soon so he pushed all thoughts of him getting married legally to a man out the window.

It isn’t just the not being able to get married part that bothers him. They could never have a proper family. Roger would love to have a house full of kids. But he’s not about to dive into that tonight. It’s better to pretend he’s terrified of marriage then letting Brian know it makes his heart ache knowing they could never get married and have children.  
  
“I feel bad for Deaky, he’s old school and would love to do it legally. So yeah it bothers me but I don’t think a piece of paper makes a marriage stronger. Even if it was legal, I don’t think I’d get married.” Roger explained.

Roger waited for Brian to respond to him, after a few moments he’s pretty convinced his boyfriend went to sleep. He was just about to roll over and go to sleep when Brian sat up and turned the bedside lamp on.

“Are you not in this for the long run?” Brian asked, his voice cracking as he spoke.

“What? Of course I am! Would a pretend marriage really make or break our relationship? Would it make us stronger and less likely to split up? Would it give us more rights? I don’t get it. It’s not like we can anyways so why are we talking about this?” Roger huffed.

“It’s nice to believe that the world will change in our lifetime. Even if it doesn’t, I’d be nice to do something like Fred and John, right?” Brian asked him. 

Roger didn’t respond, not sure what to say. Of course he wants to believe that. Then he remembers Tim’s dad threatening to run him down with the car when he caught them making out in his room. That’s what makes it hard for him to believe the world will change soon. Even doing something like Freddie and Deaky would be a constant reminder that they could never legally get married.

“If I asked you to marry me, what would you say?” Brian asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Roger wants to say yes. He would love to wear the ring with pride and shove it in everyone's faces. Even if they couldn’t do it legally. But saying yes just puts into perspective just how restricted their relationship as two men can be.

“Roger, I would like it if you would answer me.”

“Oh bloody hell, Brian! I’m too tired and drunk for this conversation,” Roger groaned before rolling over to go to sleep. 

The room went dark as Brian shit the lamp off and he could hear his boyfriend rolling over to sleep. Usually the older man would wrap an arm around Roger and properly snuggle him as they drifted off to sleep. But not tonight. Roger felt like an arse for not giving him a proper explanation. He knows Brian means well and the older man deserves an explanation and not just him blowing up for no reason. He also knows that Brian knows better than to push Roger to talk about something when he clearing doesn’t want to talk about it.

Roger waited until her heard Brian’s steady breathing before he snuggled up behind Brian, draping an arm over the mans chest. He peppered kisses on Brian’s neck, dreaming about a life where he could have a big wedding, adopt three kids, and show his husband off to the world.

  
**Brian**

**2 Months Later**

Brian never brought up marriage again or the idea of a not legal wedding that it just for them. He didn’t want to upset Roger or cause another fight. Instead he focused on the good things in his life: his beautiful boyfriend, their new flat, and the fact that he is nearly done with his PhD.

School has definitely put an enormous amount of stress on his life. Roger’s coursework is less stressful than his own and both of them know it. Roger doesn’t handle Brian not paying attention to him, which Brian finds very charming but also drives him mad. If he is planning on spending his day doing homework in the spare bedroom, Roger will wait naked on the guest bed for him. No homework gets done, but both men achieve multiple orgasms. If Brian slips out of the flat to do coursework and returns hours later, Roger will walk around the flat pouting and pretending that Brian isn’t there.   
Brian cannot win. Which is why he’s glad he only has three more months until he’s finished. He has a few jobs lined up and cannot wait to start this new chapter in his life. His boyfriend has maybe a year and a half left of school and Brian couldn’t be more proud of him. He is even more excited that he has Roger by his side.

Even if the younger man thinks marriage is stupid. 

He knows better than to bring it up to Roger again, so he decides to stop by the stall to visit Fred and John while Roger’s in class. He’s hoping John can give him some advice and more incite on his boyfriends views. So when he asked about Roger’s thoughts on marriage he was surprised to say the least when he got his answer.

“Roger always said it would be nice to get married, have kids, the house with the fence. You know? The whole package. He also said he doesn’t see the point of it since he really can't have any of it,” Deaky said plopping himself down in his husbands lap. 

“Why? You thinking of proposing? Cos if you do I’m insisting on a make shift wedding at your flat,” Fred chimed in. “I’ll be your wedding planner!”

Brian tried to hide the look on his face. “Mhm interesting.”

Brian didn’t want to go into the details of the few arguments he’s had with Roger over the last three months. He instead turned the conversation around, talking about his and Roger’s coursework. Neither of them seem to notice that Brian was upset and if they did notice they carefully avoided talking about it. 

Brian hung around with his two mates until it was time to go get Roger from his class. Even though Roger told him a dozen times that he doesn’t need to picked up like a child. Brian reassured him back a dozen times that he comes to get him cos he loves him.

Both boys were in good spirits as Brian cooked Roger lunch and the blond boy talked about his classes. Brian had no desire to ruin the good mood. But Roger is his boyfriend and he’s allowed to confront his boyfriend.

“I talked to Deaky today,” Brian said stirring the pasta on the stove. 

Roger gave him a ‘mhm’ letting him know he can continue.

“He said you want a wedding.” Brian explained, leaving out the kids part for obvious reasons. 

You can have a pretend wedding but it’s hard to have pretend kids. Plus he is only capable to deal with one argument at a time when it comes to Roger. He kept looking at the pot on the stove, waiting for Roger to respond. When Roger said nothing, Brian turned around to face Roger. Raising an eyebrow at the younger man.

“Are you really bringing this up again? I thought we put this to rest,” Roger said with a snort.

“We never talked about it. I bring it up, you yell and that’s it.”

When Roger didn’t respond after a few minutes, Brian grabbed his backpack and made his way to the front door. He looked back at Roger who hadn’t moved a muscle since their conversation began.

“I don’t understand why you are being incredibly childish and won’t talk to me about it. We tell each other everything Rog,” Brian explained sounding exhausted. “I’ll be back later.”

Brian slammed the door shut, a little too dramatic but if Roger can pout so can he. He took the tube to the library at Uni so he could have a few uninterrupted hours to get some work done. And a break from his boyfriend, which is much needed at this very moment. 

They have been attached at the hip for nine months and the only moment Brian has to himself is when he’s in class. Not that he’s complaining he loves every single moment he spends with his boyfriend. But moments like these when the blond man is so stubborn and unfair, Brian wants to rip his hair out. But then he remembers how Roger will jump in the shower with him cos he misses him and his heart jumps out of his chest. And every other thing Roger does that makes Brian fall in love with him even more.

Once Brian was finished with his coursework a few good hours later, he packed up his belongings and went to a payphone to phone the flat to apologize to Roger for storming out on him. When Roger didn’t pick up Brian didn’t think twice. He ran into a friend at the library and decided to stop by a pub for a few pints. And a few pints turned into a few too many and Brian stumbled back to their flat way past midnight.

The flat was dark and quiet, he figured Roger is sleeping so he tried his best to make his way to their bedroom without waking up his boyfriend. It wasn’t any use since the blond boy was up in bed, hair tied up, glasses on, drinking tea while his course work was spread out on front of him. Roger didn’t glance up when Brian busted through the door.

“Hey Roggie,” Brian slurred. “I was at the library then went out for a few pints with some mates from school. Lost track of time.”

“You storm out right before a fight than disappear for HOURS and then come home pissed?” Roger said, he sounded both sad and pissed. “Lost track of time I thought you were dead. I went to Fred and Deaky’s, the library, the clubs, and then have been sitting here waiting for the police to show up saying they found you dead in alley.”

Brian walked over to the bed, tripping over his feet as he tried to take his trousers off. He didn’t think Roger would have been this worried and slightly offended he checked the nearby strip clubs. He’s not sure what disaster to tackle first. He sat on the bed near Roger.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you. I called and you didn’t answer,” Brian explained. “You thought I left you to go to a strip club? Are you being bloody serious?”

“Yeah cos that’s how you dealt with you problems before, so I figured you returned to old behaviors,” Roger snapped. “Go shower, you smell like a pub. And sleep in the guest room. If you try to come in here tonight I will kick your bloody arse, Brian.”

Brian looked at Roger, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. When the younger man gestured towards the door, Brian got up and followed his boyfriends order of showering and sleeping in the guest room. He can’t remember the last time he slept without Roger in the bed. And he isn’t a fair of not having the blond boy snuggled up next to him.

Brian slept in the guest room for the next five days. 

They didn’t see each other that much in the five days due to the fact of their busy schedules and the argument. Brian wasn’t ready to cave and say sorry just yet. He knows he fucked up but he also knows that Roger also fucked up. And he’s painfully aware that it is up to him to speak first cos Roger is too damn stubborn to make the first move. 

Brian took a shower, using that time to think of everything he wants to say to Roger. His apology for his behavior that day, his main talking points, and wanting to get down to the bottom of this whole marriage argument. Cos if Brian has to have the argument one more time he’s gonna lose it. He walked into the master bedroom to gather some clothes to change into. Even though he’s been sleeping in the guest room, he refuses to move his clothes in there.

He is surprised to see Roger sitting on the bed with a cuppa. The younger man should be in class right now. The blond boy looked up at him with red and puffy eyes. Brian wanted to pull him into a hug and hold him for six hours while kissing the top of his head. 

“Hi,” Roger said with a broken voice.

“Hi. I’m just grabbing some clothes,” Brian awkwardly explained.

“I can’t sleep without you,” Roger said.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have kicked me out of our bed,” Brian said with a small laugh.

He meant it as a joke but with a hint of sass. He wasn’t letting Roger get away without them talking this out. Brian changed into his pajamas before sitting at the end of the bed. Keep a distance between him and Roger. Cos Brian knows that if he gets close to him, he’ll kiss his boyfriend, and then they’ll have sex. Not that having sex with his very beautiful boyfriend is a problem. It’s just not the solution to the current problem at hand.

“I’m sorry I accused you of going to a strip club. I know you wouldn’t and it was wrong of me to bring that up,” Roger apologized. “I was pissed at you for a few reasons and just wanted to hurt you.”

“It’s fine Rog, I shouldn’t have stayed out all night while we were fighting. I’m sorry I worried you. I just needed some space for a minute. I’m Sorry,” Brian explained.   
  
Brian could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks, He’s nervous to bring up the original fight, but he knows they have to talk about it. Brian doesn’t even care if the fight ends with Roger throwing the record player out the window. He just wants them to finally get to the bottom of it.

“You’re the love of my life Roger. It’s a stupid fight, but just be honest with me. What if your deal with marriage and not even wanting a fake wedding?” Brian said rubbing his face.

Roger took a deep breath before he answered Brian.

“I want a wedding and a marriage. I want to call you my husband. The world isn’t changing anytime soon and sure we can have wedding that means something to us. It’ll mean nothing to everyone else and we’ll have to deal with even more shit. I don’t want to have to beat up every wanker who yells some slur at you. We can’t have kids unless Science advances rather quickly. We can’t adopt. So why bother Brian, honestly,” Roger explained his voice cracking every few words. “I love our life the way it is and this is all I need. Really all I need is you and maybe a house with a huge garden. And a dog or something else to take care of.”

Brian stared at Roger who had tears streaming down his face. His heart breaking with every tear that rolled down his cheeks. Brian spent the last few months thinking his boyfriend is just being stubborn. He never once stop to think what the deeper meaning might be. Brian understood, it’s painful how much he understands. Brian was the young lad in primary school planning his wedding and picking out names for children. It wasn’t until he was 16 years old, making out with his first boyfriend that he realized he’ll never have that life. Brian knew his life would be restricted as a gay man. But that didn’t mean who would give up on certain aspects.

Brian pulled his boyfriend into a tight hug. He stroked the blond locks, soothing him as he cried.

“Oh Rog, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you. If you would have said this from the start I would have understood. I wouldn’t have kept bringing it up. I thought you didn’t want to spend the rest of your life with me,” Brian explained.

“You daft sod,” Roger snorted. Roger wiped the snot away from his nose and leaned in to kiss Brian.

It’s the first kissed they shared in a while and the first passionate kiss in months. Brian broke this kiss first.

“Roger, I can’t do anything about us not having a legal marriage or not having kids cos of science and lack of adoption. But I will never stop doing things to show you how much I love you. I will buy us a house with an enormous garden. We’ll get three dogs and fill the house with plants and other things we can take care of. Even though you kill every plant I bring into the flat. We can have a real wedding in the garden and celebrate. A real wedding doesn’t have to be legal,” Brian said stroking his thumb across Roger’s face.

Roger smiled at Brian and attacked his faces with kisses. What started as sweet kisses quickly turned into a heated make out session. Brian reach in their drawer for lube. He opened Roger up quick and messy, both too impatient for the main event. Roger rode Brian quickly, they swallowed each other moans and ‘I love yous’. Brian could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he neared his orgasm. He didn’t realize how much he missed being this close to his boyfriend. Brian stroked Roger to orgasm, his own following moments later.

Brian quickly cleaned them both up and snuggled up to his boyfriend. Roger apologized for kicking him out of their room and talked about how sad he was sleeping alone. Roger admitted to sleeping in Brian’s dirty t-shirt and Roger made his promise not tease him.

Brian drifted off to sleep with his boyfriend laid across his chest. The comforting weight of his boyfriend is a constant reminder how just how perfect his life is. 


	10. Because I want it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Brian's life falls into place as they do this thing for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sad this is finished but I absolutely fell in love with this story specially this last chapter. I have already started a draft for a second part. :)

**Roger**

**1.5 years later.**

“Brimi did you take Comet and Star out? I don’t want them peeing in the flat,” Roger yelled from the bedroom. 

“I did while you were taking four hours to get ready,” Brian said with a laugh. “If you keep taking any longer I won’t be able to give you your graduation present.”

“Don’t graduate till next week Doctor May,” Roger snorted.

Roger knew he was taking longer than usual to get ready. They have Freddie and Deaky’s house warming party tonight and he wanted to look dapper for it. He also had something planned up his sleeve for Brian and wanted to look his absolute best. What he didn’t want was coming back to their flat and having to clean up after the dogs.

Roger emerged from the bedroom and smiled as he watched Brian roll around the living room floor with both dogs. 

_His boys,_ Roger thought.

“You know if we had a house with a garden we could leave the dogs outside. But I guess that was just an empty promise,” Roger joked.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so picky. The master bedroom has too many windows in the one. The other one didn’t have enough windows in the master bedroom. You aren’t easy to please,” Brian said getting off the floor to kiss his boyfriend. “You look beautiful love, now please kiss the dogs goodbye and let’s go.”

Roger gave his usual over dramatic goodbyes to his dogs. Telling them to behave or no treats when they get home. Telling them not to touch the liquor or throw any parties. He loves to treat his boys like they’re his children. They bought the dogs a year ago and Roger has complained everyday that his boys need a backyard. He tried to blame Brian but it’s definitely Roger’s fault cos he shoots down every house that Brian shows him.

They jumped in Brian’s car and started their journey to the Mercury’s resident. Deaky had unofficially taken Freddie’s last name and they all love to use it whenever they can. Roger was bouncing in his seat they journey over. For a couple reasons; him being excited to see his mates and the item in his jacket pocket that felt as heavy as a brick. Freddie and Deaky had moved a bit outside of London and they don’t all see each other as often. Roger misses them both dearly, even if they only moved a month ago. They still hadn’t manage to visit them between his finals and them getting settled in neither of them had the time. As for he item in his pocket, he needs to get it out and over with before he throws up in the car.

“Are you sure you know where you’re going? I swear we’ve been in the car for hours,” Roger groaned. 

“It’s been half an hour Rog, literally half an hour. And we’re just about to pull up now,” Brian said rolling his eyes.

His face lit up when Brian pointed to the house, letting him know that they have arrived. Roger couldn’t stop the giddy scream that escaped his mouth. Brian let out of laugh as he pulled in front of Fred and Deaky’s house. Roger insisted on getting here way before the party started so he could spend some quality time with his mates. While that was true he also had another surprised planned. He bolted out of the car and ran at lightning speed to the front door. 

He rang the door bell a few times too many times before he let himself into the house. His face fell when the house was empty. He turned to face Brian who was now just walking through the door.

“Brian, I think we’ve got the wrong house,” Roger said gesturing to the empty house. “I told you that you should have asked for proper directions!” 

Roger waited for Brian to apologize, when he got nothing in return he tried to make his way past Brian and back to the car. The older man refused to let him out of the house.

“Brimi,” Roger said playfully shoving his boyfriend. 

“Deaky told me it was a bad idea. I should have listened,” Brian said kissing Roger’s nose.

Roger stared at the man waiting for him to continue. Brian grabbed him by the arm and brought him into the living room. Brian stretched his arms out and did a quick spin finishing with a huge smile on his face. It took Roger a few seconds to piece together what his goofy boyfriend is doing. And once he realized it, he jumped into Brian’s arms, wrapping his legs around the older mans waist.

“You bloody bought this house! Didn’t you?” Roger shouted. “Brimi! I cannot believe you.”

Roger couldn’t decide if he was pissed at Brian or ecstatic. He picked the latter. He pressed his lips to Brian’s passionately, trying to hold back his tears.

“I love you Roger, but you’re so damn picky. And Deaky said if I wait for your indecisive arse to pick a house, then we’ll die waiting,” Brian explained. “And I figured you’d be less inclined to hate to if I already bought it. And before you say anything, yes Freddie and John live three streets over.”

“I’m so fucking in love with you,” Roger said with so much emotion in his voice. He couldn’t stop the few tears from running down his face.

Roger gave his boyfriend one more kiss before he jumped out of his arms. Deaky’s right. Roger would have kept finding things wrong with every house they looked at. A small part of that being that Roger still can’t believe this is life. He has his degree, an absolutely perfect boyfriend, his dogs, and a the most perfect flat that him and Brian turned into their home. This whole process of looking for a perfect home when his life is already perfect made Roger feel greedy. Brian gave him constant reassurance that he’s earned every bit of this.

“Are you going to show me our home or what?” Roger asked with a smirk.

Brian gave him a tour of their new home. It’s a quaint four bedroom, three bathroom, and a huge garden. Of course one of the rooms is a guest room reserved for Freddie and Deaky. Roger smiled at that, even if they only live three blocks over. The kitchen is perfect. Roger can imagine Brian cooking them lovely dinner while Roger sits on the counter drinking too much. And while dinner is cooking, Brian will fuck Roger right there on the counter and he doesn’t have to hold back his moans. Since they no longer live in a flat with shared walls. 

Roger can’t wait until Brian, Comet, Star, and him are curled up by the fire place watching some crappy movie. Then come the morning they will have tea out in the garden as the boys run around for hours. That’s what Roger loves the most about the house. His boys will get to experience a quiet and large garden for the first time. Something they don’t have living in London. And his boys deserve the world.

“Brimi, it’s fucking perfect. You’re perfect. When are we moving in? The boys need to see it, they are gonna love it,” Roger shouted.

“I was thinking we can start moving stuff over and unpacking. But we should wait until after your graduation to officially move in. Sound good?” Brian asked pulling his boyfriend in for a hug.

Roger nodded into his chest.

“As much as I would love to stay here, we told Fred and John we help with the cooking and set up,” Brian explained.

Roger pulled away, giving him one last chaste kiss before pulling his boyfriend to his car. He looked back at their house before they drove away.

Their house.

-

Brian is busy with Freddie in the kitchen, trying to save whatever is burning on the stove. Roger will never understand why Deaky let’s him cook. The two younger men sat in the garden, cracking open a few cold beers to toast their houses. Roger listened as Deaky told him all about their plans for decorating the house. Roger made a mental note to have Freddie help them decorate their house. The man does have quite the eye for interior decorating.

Roger’s waiting for the right moment to bring up how Deaky went behind his back to help Brian with their house. There’s a part of him that wants to be mad, but the younger man is right. Roger would have never settled on a house. Deaky knows him best.

“So you were helping my boyfriend pick out a house?” Roger said playfully.

“Oi! Roggie, you’ve been so busy lately. And boyfriend? I thought you had a ring in your pocket and were going to ask him a very very important question? Mhm, I can’t very well remember what the question was. Can you help me out?” Deaky said rolling eyes.

Roger shushed him before looking over his shoulder to make sure his boyfriend wasn’t listening. He placed his hand over his jacket, feeling the little box that contains the ring. Roger’s been carrying it around for a few weeks now, looking for the right moment. And once he realized that it’s hard enough getting the two them in the same together, he decided to bring in some reinforcement.

Deaky had offered to help him plan it. They came up with Roger proposing before Deaky and Fred’s house warming party. That way there are two very important causes for celebrations. Well that was the plan.

“I was gonna ask him and then he surprised me with a house. What was I supposed to do? I can’t take away his moment,” Roger groaned. “I love him, but that damn hopeless romantic is making things rather difficult for me to propose.”

Roger and Deaky shared a laugh at that before joining their men in the kitchen. They finished prepping and cleaning just in time as the guest started to arrive, the ring still still heavy in his jacket pocket.

-  
1 Week Later

  
“Stop fidgeting, darling! I need to get one more pin to secure the cap down,” Freddie said for what seemed like the 100th time.

Roger was outside Uni, surrounded by his boyfriend and two mates. Freddie has been fixing his hair all morning. Adding just a touch of makeup to make his blue eyes pop or whatever the older man said. He made Roger change his outfit over a dozen times. Now Freddie is securing his graduation cap as if he’s going on a ride at a theme park. He is determined to make sure Roger is the best looking graduate today.

“Come on Fred, he’s gonna be late! Do you want to practice your handshake one more time? How are you going to smile? These are the important details,” Deaky explained.

Deaky made Roger practice his handshake a few more times. Roger practiced his smile so many times today that smiling started to feel unnatural. His hands have become so clammy from the nerves, he’s sure he’s gonna drop his diploma. 

“I’m fine, both oh you need to shoo! Brian? A little help here,” Roger begged. 

He gave his boyfriend puppy dog eyes, hoping for some back up. He knew it was no use, Brian’s been making a big fuss over Roger’s graduation all week. He’s filled the flat and their house with flowers. He’s helped him line up a job as a primary school science teacher near their home. Giving him constant praise and boasting to anyone who will listen that his boyfriend is a college graduate.

“Come on Rog, today has to be perfect. It’s been a long time coming and we’re all so proud of you,” Brian said kissing his cheek.

“You guys need to go take your seat and I have to go inside,” Roger said playfully. “Come on don’t make me late.”

Freddie fixed his cap one last time. “Our little Rainbow is graduating college! Seems like only yesterday he was giving lap dances and now he’s all grown up,” Freddie joked. 

Freddie and Deaky gave him a hug for good luck while Brian did a double check of their surroundings before planting a big sloppy kiss on his boyfriends lips. 

“So bloody proud of you Rog,” Brian said in a soft voice. “Now go on in before I cry again and your late.”

The graduation was boring.

Long speeches from people who Roger didn’t care about or even knew. He sat in his seat, legs bouncing anxiously as he searched the room trying to spot the three of them. He could feel himself getting nervous when he couldn’t find them, he knows they’re here. He just thought it would be easier to walk across the stage if he knows where they are. He finally found them, Brian’s hair standing out from the rest of the crowd. He waved at them to calm himself down. He’s not sure if they’re looking or can even see him. But knowing they are there is enough to comfort him.

Especially now that it’s time for his name is about to be called. He always thought about this moment. He always thought he’d be a bit older and probably alone. He became very content with the fact that he might graduate Uni at 45 with not a single person there to cheer him on. It’s quite surreal that he’s graduating at 26 and he has a cheering section.

** _Roger Meddows Taylor_ **

Roger walked across the stage as an eruption of applause and cheers roared. You could have swore it came from at least a dozen people. Roger looked at the three blokes cheering for him, shot them a blinding smile, and shot his hand that’s holding his diploma up in the air.

_I fucking did it,_ Roger thought to himself

-

Roger didn’t want a big celebration with a large crowd of people. He instead asked for them to go to their house and enjoy their first night there. While obviously drinking way too much champagne surrounded by his mates and his boys. And Brian delivered just that.

They order too much take away, drank too much champagne, and Brian insisted on everyone giving a toast to Roger. Roger pretended to hate the idea but he secretly loves it. He loves hearing Deaky tell him he knew he could do it and never doubted him for a second. He adores hearing Freddie complain about all the times Roger did coursework at the stall. Which stopped them from fucking around and drinking while working. He loves hearing from Brian the most. Brian who talks about before he even met Roger he knew that he would do great things. How Roger did everything his way and all by himself. And that Roger deserves this moment.

Roger always knew how lucky he is to have these three men in his life. There’s just something about the toasts, the graduation, and the booze that is making him more emotional. Maybe he’s just getting used to being loved and supported. Whatever the reason is, Roger doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he’s sitting on his living room floor crying very very very happy tears.

-

Roger planned to cook for his and Roger’s two year anniversary. By planned to cook he really means Deaky came over early and did all the cooking while Roger practiced how he’s going to propose to Brian tonight. He has to do it tonight. The little box feels like a ticking time bomb in his pocket.

“Alright so you’ll eat dinner, chat for a bit, and before dessert you propose! A very solid and simple plan. I don’t see how this can go wrong or be put to a stop again,” Deaky said gathering his things so he could leave.

Roger knocked back the rest of his wine.

“I see 100 things going wrong and him saying no,” Roger joked. 

“Oi! You are still the same Roger, you know that right?” Deaky kissed his cheek goodbye and left Roger alone in the house.

Roger knows damn well he is being over dramatic. He patiently waited for his boyfriend to come home. He was fine when Brian was 10 minutes late. 30 minutes late didn’t phase him. Brian is still traveling to London for work and traffic can be a nightmare. An hour later he started to get furious, he told his boyfriend he was planning a dinner. So why the man thought he could be an hour late is beyond Roger. His anger quickly shifted to nervousness when he started to think that maybe something happened.

He didn’t know if he should phone the police or Deaky. Before he could decide to phone, Brian frantically walked through the door.

“Brian Harold Fucking May! Are you kidding me? I thought you were dead in ditch and was just about to start crying. Now that I know you’re alive and fine, I’m furious. You are nearly two hours late,” Roger screamed at Brian. “You have got to be bloody kidding me.”

Brian gave an apologetic look and walked over to Roger. He knew Brian was just about to start his apology but he was having none of it.

“I tell you I’m cooking tonight for our anniversary and you what? Just forgot? You are the brightest star in my life and I just want to show you that but you make things so god damn hard sometimes,” Roger snapped at his boyfriend.

“Rog, please. I didn’t forget I had to pick something up and it took longer than I thought,” Brian explained himself. “I love you so much. I’ve been trying to get this for a while but I couldn’t find the right one. It’s been a mess.”

Roger rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. Roger explained over 100 times how we wanted tonight to be special. He put his hand over his pocket, feeling the box. The box that contains the ring he wants to propose to his boyfriend with. His boyfriend who cleans up after the dogs cos Roger hates that part. His boyfriend who rubs his feet when he’s has a rough day with the kids in his class. His boyfriend who makes me smile and laugh harder than he ever has before. That’s what tonight is about. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the velvet box.

“I’ve been trying to do this for weeks now. But you are a difficult man, Brian May. I love you and I want to spend my life with you, even if you show up two hours late to our anniversary dinner. But you were two hours late cos you were out getting me present. That’s why I love you and that’s why I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Roger said walking over.

“Roger wait I want to do something,” Brian said in a rush.

“No, you had two hours to do something! I’m doing my thing,” Roger snorted. 

Roger stood in front of his boyfriend and got down on one knee, feeling very small as his boyfriend towered over him. He opened the box with shaking hands and pulled out the ring. He held up the ring to boyfriend who stared at him with a blank expression that turned into a laugh.

“Why are you laughing? I’m trying to propose you nerd,” Roger said sweetly. “I love you and I want you to be my husband. Even if we can’t do it legally. It’ll be real to us and that’s all I need. So would you like to do this thing for real?”  
  
Roger could feel the tears forming in his eyes. If Brian doesn’t answer in the next few seconds, Roger will run out the house. He watched as Brian get down to his level, he put one knee on the ground and cupped Roger’s face. He kissed him a few times before he pulled away to grab something from his pocket.

“Jesus Christ you daft man, you’re supposed to stay up there while I propose. Seriously Brian you make everything difficult,” Roger said with an eye roll.

“Only if you want to do this thing for real with me,” Brian said, his voice thick with emotion.

Brian put the simple ring on Roger’s finger and Roger followed by putting the ring on Brian’s finger. Brian examined the ring on his finger and Roger couldn’t wait any longer. He pounced on his fiancee, knocking him over and peppering kisses all over his face. 

They made love on the living room floor, dinner well forgotten about.

-

They married three weeks later.

It was a chaotic shit show. But it was perfect to them. 

A close intimate gathering in their garden since Roger doesn’t have any biological family and Brian’s parents haven’t spoken to him since his graduation. A few of their friends from work and the one neighbor up the street. Not many people think what they’re doing is okay. Not that they care or need their approval. Deaky and Freddie were the best men to their respective friends and Freddie also insisted on being the one to marry them. Roger tried for three very long weeks to   
get Comet and Star to walk down the aisle with the rings and he had no such luck.

Roger wore his rainbow blazer that Brian had gifted him a few years ago and Brian wore the suit jacket that Roger loves. The house decorated with dozen and dozens of flowers that Freddie insisted on. Deaky made a ton of photo collages and cooked for everyone. Roger must have said “fuck” 67 times during the ceremony and Brian spent two minutes comparing Roger to the beauty of space.

They played record after record, danced, and drank until the liquor ran out. The night end the way most of their nights end: Roger, Brian, Freddie, and Deaky sitting around with the dogs on the living room floor. Everyone snuggling close, passing a bottle of something around, taking the piss out on each other, and Brian giving Roger kisses every few minutes.

“So Roger I have to ask you something and you cannot get angry,” Freddie started. Deaky shot him a look but he continued on anyway. “The first night Brian came into the club-”

“Freddie, I’d watch it if I were you. That’s my husband you’re talking about,” Brian said in a low voice, protectively pulling Roger in closer.

_My Husband._

“Now now dear, if everyone would just shush! That first night Brian came into club, when you gave him a blowie in the back room, you remember that? Did you think that he would become your husband? See that’s not a terrible question now is it?” Freddie smirked.

Roger could feel his face heat up thinking about that memory. It’s burned into his brain, all for good reasons. It was the first time he spoke to Brian and he fell in love with Brian. Right then and there. He never thought Rainbow had a chance with Brian and a part of him thought Roger didn’t stand a chance either. He thought maybe he’d wank him off in the back a few times and Brian would grow old of Rainbow and that the semester would end and Roger would never see a Brian again.

Somehow against all the odds, here he is with Brian, his husband. Roger likes to think this is how it was all suppose to happen. Brian would say their stry was already written in the stars or something space related. If he didn’t have to fight his whole life, he wouldn’t be the chaotic and independent man that Brian loves. If Brian wasn’t shy, he wouldn’t have ended up at Mr. G’s. If Roger wasn’t behind two years in his schooling, Brian would have never been his TA. And all the tiny details in between that make up their story. Their messy story that Roger wouldn’t trade for the world. 

“Well of course, I only gave him a blowie cos I knew he was gonna end up my husband,” Roger said pulling Brian down for a heated kiss. No caring that his two mates were there watching.

-

Freddie and Deaky took the dogs for the weekend. Roger said it was cos they weren’t gonna be home for most of it. But they all knew Roger and Brian just wanted to have sex on every surface in the house without being disrupted by his boys barking.

Roger pushed Brian down on the bed, pressing a kiss to his lips before he backed away from him.

“You’re teasing me now. Get over here,” Brian said palming his erection.

They had a heated make out session against the door and Brian was about to strip him naked when he put a stop to it. Not because he doesn’t want his husband to fuck him against the door. But because Roger has a small surprise and he’s starting to doubt if Brian will even like it. 

“I uh- got something for you. Well it’s actually for me but it’s a gift for you. And if you don’t like it that’s fine but please don’t laugh Brian. Promise me you won’t laugh,” Roger begged his boyfriend.

“You have my word,” Brian said in an honest voice.

“Close your eyes! no peaking or swear on my boys I will leave you,” Roger said sternly.

He waited for Brian to squeeze his eyes shut before he started to undress. He stripped his shirt off and wiggled out his ski tight trousers. He stood there only wearing a pair a very lacy and thin black panties. He debated on buying them and he debated even more putting them on today. It the two years they’ve been together, they have done some incredibly kinky things and have helped each other discover kinks they like. Roger has a severe praise kink that Brian loves to indulge in. And Brian is super into watching Roger open himself up and wank himself off. Which is great for both of them, Brian gets off by it and Roger gets to add to his toy collection.

He’s not sure what Brian will make of the panties. Roger is quite fond of how fantastic his arse looks. He struggled a bit to fit all his bits but he managed. He didn’t think of how to position himself when he has Brian open his eyes. He never thought he would actually go through with it so he just plopped himself on Brian’s lap.

“Alright open,” Roger nervously said.

Brian’s eyes shot open and he stared into Roger’s before his eyes traveled his hands down Roger’s body before settled on his crotch. Roger was tense in his lap waiting for his husband to say something. Literally anything.

“Bloody hell, Rog. You look so damn sexy, my bloody gorgeous husband. Stand up and turn around,” Brian said sounding very out of breath.

Roger stood up and gave a quick spin. He kept his back to Brian and bent down to grip in ankles, shaking his arse in front of Brian.

“I’m gonna come in my trousers in you keep that up,” Brian said smacking Roger’s arse. “On the bed and on all fours.”

“Yes sir,” Roger said with a mocking salute.

Roger scrambled into position, arching his back so hit bum is on display for Brian. He listened as the older man undressed and grab lube from the bedside locker. The bed dipped behind him as he felt Brian place his hands on his hips.

“So beautiful, I’ll never quite get over how perfect you are. And you’re all mine,” Brian growled.

Roger could feel Brian pulling the panties to the side, exposing himself to his husband. A moment later Brian was spreading his cheeks and he felt Brian’s warm breath at his entrance while his tongue licked around his rim.

“Fuck,” Roger moaned, trying to stop himself from thrusting back onto his husbands face. 

Brian continued to tease Roger’s rim with kitten licks and kisses. Roger bit his hands trying to suppress the moans that escaped him. Everything about the situation made it hard for Roger to keep his cool. The panties made everything feel dirtier and Brian’s reaction was better than he could have imagined. 

Brian licked a strip from his balls going all the way up causing Roger collapse on his chest, his bum still in the air.

“You taste so fucking good, Rog. Could stay here all day and eat you out,” Brian growled before plunging his tongue into Roger’s tight heat.

Roger let out a high pitched moan. He could barely get anything out other than “fuck, Brimi” and “yesyesyes” as Brian went to town on his arse. He was too fucked out to notice a lube finger sliding in next to his tongue. And it wasn’t much longer before a second and a third finger was added. Stretching him out perfectly and teasing his prostate with a few thrusts. Turning Roger into a right squirming mess.

“Brian, please please. Need it,” Roger whine.

“What do you want love? Use your words,” Brian said pulling away from Roger’s bum.

“Wanna ride you,” Roger said removing the panties.

Brian crawled to the top of the bed, taking a seat with his back against the headboard. He gestured to his thick erection and Roger was over in seconds. He lubed up Brian’s cock before he settled on top of it, sinking down painfully slow. 

Once he was fully seated and gave himself time to adjust, he started to bounce up and down. He used Brian’s shoulders for balance and Brian’s hands were planted on Roger’s hips.  
  
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” Roger choked out. “I don’t tell, you all the time but I wouldn’t want to live this life with out you.”

He wasn’t sure were the sudden rush of emotion came from. Brian shook his head, pulling his husband in for a heated hiss. Roger rolled his hips, letting Brian’s cock hit his prostate repeatedly.

“You tell me every day in a bunch of little ways. I love you, Roger. So fucking much,” Brian said. He grabbed Roger’s cock and stroked it in time with his thrust. 

Roger moaned into Brian’s neck, he could feel his orgasm building.

“Come with me, Bri. Please,” Roger begged. “FUCK”

Roger came all over both of their chests and Brian followed four thrust later. The room was filled with low moans and I love you’s.

Roger slid off Brian’s cock and pulled himself under the blankets. Brian rolled his eyes at his husband. Roger is never one to care about clean up after sex and he is well aware it drives Brian mad. This time seemed different, Brian joined him under the covers without a fighting about cleaning up the mess. Brian snuggled up behind Roger, slinging an arm over him so he could hold the younger man close.

Roger loves this. Even if their covered in sweat, come, and lube. _He really fucking loves this._

“You really are the best thing that happened to me, Brimi. I love you,” Roger said twirling his ring around.

He’ll never get over that he is married to Brian and that his life is wonderfully beautiful. Sometimes he swears he’s gonna wake up on Deaky’s couch and have to rush to get ready for his shift. He’s still not sure how he got this lucky.

“You’re the second best thing that happened to me. Rainbow has got to be the first,” Brian playfully said. Roger pinched his arm. “You are the best thing that happened to me. Some days I wake up next to you and I’m pretty convinced that this is a dream or something. I don’t know how I got so lucky to fall asleep next to you every night. I love you.”

Roger picked up Brian’s hand and placed a kiss to his ring. He pressed himself back against his husband and started to imagine what the rest of their life will look like.


End file.
